One time, a long, long time ago, I was at the local New Cumberland Skate Rink. I minding my own business, while imagining I was a muse. That’s what I always did whenever skating, pretended I was friends with Olivia Newton John in Xanadu.
On this particular occasion, I was really getting into it. I closed my eyes some, but not often enough to welcome a bust. I skated that way for at least two songs and imagined that boys everywhere were thinking, “Oh my, look at how shiny her hair is! She must use VO 5 Hot Oil Treatment.”
Everything, that day, was superb that is up until Heather’s mom decided to stop me, mid-snicker.
Look at your arms sway! Your arms were moving so much. It’s as if you were going to take off!!
Heather’s mom said that to me, not 9-year-old Heather, but Heather’s 43-year-old mom. Life has gotta be pretty grim if someone’s mother is teasing you at the local roller rink on a Friday night. Pretty grim, indeed.
I remember that day as if it were yesterday. I also remember the months following her arm-swaying comment when I stopped moving my arms while walking, running, or skating. What a mess that was. Everyone knows that a person’s arms are the keystone to good balance. I didn’t move mine as often as I thought about it (which was a lot, let me tell you.)
Looking back, it’s a good thing I didn’t take this neurosis to the YMCA with me.
(Next week, adolescent mihow stops swallowing her own saliva.)