I Have a Confession

I have to be honest. I have remained quiet for too long. It’s time to fess up. The truth of the matter is, I think I despise Craigslist. I’m pretty sure I’m the only person in America who feels this way but I just don’t like it.

I don’t find the “Best Of” all that funny. As a matter of fact, I find them downright stupid and made up most of the time. I don’t even find the weird sexcapades humorous. They bore me as a matter of fact. And the design? I think it sucks. And I don’t care if it’s meant to be simple and easy to read, it’s horribly ugly and lame. If Ebay purchased this site, you better believe it’d sing or do your taxes, it’d emit smells or something.

Craigslist also feeds my cynicism. I don’t believe half of what I read on there. (I’m sorry, but am I really supposed to believe that some “model” is looking for a male roommate who she can have sex with whenever she’s bored AND he can live there for free as long as he’s OK with her supermodel friends and the fact that they like to smear nutella on their tits and let one another lick it off? No. Not buying it.)

Most of the time, when I visit Craigslist, I feel like I’ve entered the mind of a 14 year old boy—the mind of a pimply, prepubescent teenage boy.

If Craigslist had a smell, it’d be blue cheese or sour milk. If it were a color, it’d be pea green. If it were meat, it’d be scrapple. If it were a person, it’d be Gilbert Godfried. A religion? Scientology. A sound? Fingernails scraping rusty metal.

But I’m still hoping someone will change my mind.

6 Comments

  1. I would agree. It is pretty juvenile and self-absorbed.

    I just peruse the “For Sale” ads looking for new music gear, and furniture.

    Reply

  2. halle-fuckin-lujah! (sp)
    you nailed it.
    especially the smell and colour.
    but that part about the nutella is true.
    ive seen it.
    hah.no wait, it was lemon drops. its true, i swear on my mothers eyes. they lived next door to me in red hook.

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  3. Didn’t you get married for a reason? I mean singles can be a little juvenile and weird because they are desperately seeking fantastic sex all the time. We don’t have to…

    Oh and the Nutella supermodels got paid to mention Nutella. It’s really not such a bad fantasy, but I kinda think that who really wrote it had a very hairy chest and I’ll never be able to pick the hair out of the Nutella.

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  4. I ALSO DON’T LIKE THAT A LOT OF WHAT’S ON THERE IS WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS.

    IT IS NOT OK TO CONTACT THE PERSON WHO WROTE POST IF YOU’RE NOT A MORON.

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  5. Totally agree. (Boy, did this recent Craigslist post get people upset where I work.)

    Reply

  6. case in point. I wonder if Craig thinks his list was really worth it in the end.

    And, again, I’m having trouble believing that person at all.

    Reply

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