Field Trips (The quickest post I’ve ever written and it shows.)

In late July, we’re going on a field trip to New Jersey. It’s an all day event. They are taking all of us on a bus. There will be ice cream, burgers, and I think soda pop. We’re also going to play games. I hear we’re able to sign up for softball, horseshoes, and volleyball. I will opt for softball.

I remember field trips were like the greatest thing ever when I was a kid. I remember being mostly excited by two things: 1). What I would have in my brown bag of yumminess and 2). Who I might get to sit next to on the bus. I liked boys back then. I still like boys. But back then when some girls were screaming COOTIES! I was like, “Hello boy, let’s trade heart shaped valentine’s day cards oh, and you should buy me necklaces and Michael Jackson paraphernalia.” Boys were fun. Boys on busses during field trips were ever more fun. Boys on busses during field trips sporting brown bags of yumminess were the greatest of fun.

I remember this one time when the boy I sat next to on the bus threw up. The spontaneous vomiting had nothing to do with me or my brown bagged lunch, but he threw up nonetheless. And instead of stopping and unloading 25+ school children onto the side of the road, we had to drive with the vomit all the way to our destination. I remember watching it move with every ebb and trough and turn hoping it wouldn’t eventually come near me. I remember being really mad at the teacher, who was far from the moving vomit. She should have moved me to a new seat. I mean, really.

The funny part is now that I’m writing this, I can’t seem to remember WHERE we went most of the time. Instead, I remember things like vomiting, boys, and these:

and these:

I also remember bologna handmade and packed by a man named Oscar Meyer.

I think maybe they took us to a farm or two. I mean, we were in Pennsyltuckey after all, so a farm would make sense. I have no idea. I wonder what kids from California do on field trips. I bet they go look for sea critters. And Idaho? Where do Idahinian children go on yellow buses? What makes up a brown bagged lunch in Idaho? I know they had parachute day in Idaho, Doug Martsch told me. In Pennsyltuckey, I think we saw a lot of grass and cows and Amish people. And my brown bag held food products made by people with silly names.

24 Comments

  1. God, Swiss Cake Rolls. They are like crack.

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  2. I know, right? When we were growing up, well, when we were tweens, (we weren’t allowed too much sugar when we were little guys) my mom used to buy boxes upon boxes of those Little Debbies. The peanut butter things were amazing, too. I can’t remember their name. I’ll find it.

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  3. I can’t buy Swiss Cake Rolls now because the box would be gone in a few days. No willpower when it comes to them.

    Are you talking about the wafery kind with the layers of peanut butter, or the cookie bars with the peanut butter in the middle?

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  4. Oh yes. Those. Can’t buy them either.

    Did you like Tastykakes too since you lived in PA? Don’t even get me started on Butterscotch kripets and Kandy Kakes.

    Sorry I turned this into a discussion on processed baked goods. I just saw those pictures and went crazy. Withdrawal, I guess.

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  5. I’ve liked boys since I was in kindergarten. Every grade a new boy to like for the year. Field trips were the only deterant for me. All I did was eat the yummy snacks my parents packed in the brown paper bag (the special kind only for fieldtrips). Boys were out of my head until all yummy snacks were gone.

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  6. my crack of choice is zingers. peel off the frosting, eat that first slowly, and then the cake with the fluffy insides. there’s huge difference between a zinger thats fresh and one thats been on a shelf for a year. mm.

    cake rolls are good frozen too.

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  7. Boys and snacks are the best two words ever.

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  8. You guys are KILLING me. MUST. EAT. SWEETS.
    frozen, andrea? You don’t say!

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  9. My favs were always Hostess cakes http://www.hometown-treats.com/product_photos/hostess_cupcakes.jpg
    chocolate cupcakes were to die for, but I would settle for the golden spongy twinkies.

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  10. Those chocolate Hostess cupcakes…mmm. I used to peel the icing off, eat the cake, and then savor the icing, eating the swirl of white icing last. Weird.

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  11. there is absolutely nothing weird about that at all. not at all. pulling a straw out to suck the cream from a twinkie? now, that’s weird. A little.

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  12. That is awesome. I have to remember to try that next time I have a twinkie.

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  13. if you’re mean, you can go to the supermarket with a straw and just eat a box or two of twinkies without opening anything

    no one will ever know

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  14. Little Debbies are gross but you kids loved them. Me, make mine Orange Hostess cup cakes.

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  15. I loved Big Wheels. And I puked on the bus on a field trip once—to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, in fact. I lived in Cresskill, NJ at the time. I don’t remember ebbing and flowing of vomit, but I do remember that Peter McGee stuck the sleeve of his parka out the window so that he could breath clean air through it.

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  16. I once peed my pants on the way home from school and then I fell down the stairs as I was running to get home and when I finally got there I told my mother I had died.

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  17. Boy, I remember that. I tried so hard not to laugh as I was telling you that you were still alive. You were so serious.

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  18. I think I just combined two different stories. I may have peed my pants on a different occasion. either way…

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  19. My father has shit himself numerous times. As an adult.

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  20. From laughter or oopster?

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  21. Oopsters all. The stories he can tell!! Needless to say, Kerry finds them appalling—not only that they happened, but that he would share them.

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