Passive Agressive People

Missy made the following statement tonight:

Nothing gets my goat like passive aggression, especially by those who claim to hate it as much as me.

Passive aggressive people suck. For real. They’re up there with some of the most annoying human creature beings. They’re the second runner up to the people who are so bored by their own lives they create fantasy at the expense of others in order to make their life a bit more interesting and/or tolerable. And if it’s not to enhance their excitement level because they have only themselves to blame in the reduction of their excitement level, they create fantasy (at the expense of others) in order to avoid a deeper, personal problem.

(This post is passive aggressive, actually. Damn.)

I’m being passive aggressive for posting about HOW MUCH I TOTALLY WANT TO SHAKE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE instead of telling the people I am referring to that they must chill with all the drama.

It’s only fair that if I make such a claim about other people, I should put up things about myself that I know suck.

Things I Am Guilty Of:

  • Paranoia
  • Envy
  • Blowing things out of proportion
  • A fondness for Saddness
  • Coming up with conspiracy theories
  • Never saying ‘No’
  • Making fun of the Mormon religion
  • Leaving passive-aggressive posts on my Web site.

P.S. Forgive me for sinking this low. I feel dirty.

15 Comments

  1. Amen. Passive aggression begets only more passive aggression. It’s a downward spiral.

    Reply

  2. Incidentally, what does “get my goat” mean? I have always wondered. At some point did someone actually have a goat taken from them?

    Reply

  3. My family had a goat when I was about 4. Billy disappeared the day after he followed my mom and me to church. I know he was following for the chance to knock me down. Billy was plain aggressive and knocking me down was his favorite pastime.

    Aggressive people and goats suck. Passive and otherwise.

    Reply

  4. Amen sister. I know someone who could compete in the passive aggressive olympics.

    PS: I don’t have your goat.

    Reply

  5. donald, I bet the mormon’s stole your active-agressive goat…they’re weird like that.

    Reply

  6. Mihow, don’t you have a book of colloquialisms? I could swear we used to sit around and look up phrases in that thing.
    I did a Google search and found the following:
    “There is one theory, espoused by H.L. Mencken among others, that ties the phrase to the world of horse racing. It used to be common practice, goes this theory, to stable goats with race horses, trainers believing that the mere presence of the goats would help keep the excitable thoroughbreds calm. If an unscrupulous gambler were to arrange for the removal of a certain goat from a certain horse’s stall the day before a race, the horse might be so flustered by the absence of its hircine pal that it would lose the race. The gambler would thus have “gotten the horse’s goat.”

    Unfortunately, the first occurrence of the phrase in print, according to the Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang, was in 1908. Since goats are no longer (if they ever were) housed with race horses, the practice must have arisen near the beginning of the 20th century – and been abandoned shortly thereafter – for that theory to be true.

    A more likely origin of the phrase lies in an earlier (1904) citation in the Random House dictionary, for “goat” as prison slang for “anger.” I think this may be the key. After all, goats do, with much provocation, get angry. To bring out the “goat” in someone may take some doing, but will eventually have dramatic results.”

    Reply

  7. people do keep goats with thier horses. or anything else of companionship.
    my parents have a donkey with thiers.

    Reply

  8. When I get a get a horse, I’m going to stable it with a sea lion. But if I get a sea lion first, then I’ll get a goat.

    My wife’s family kept sheep for a while, and they are really dumb (the sheep, that is). So, in order to make managing the sheep easier, they got a goat (which is much smarter). The sheep followed the goat.

    My wife is passive agressive, and I’m a moderately assertive type-A personality. Fortunately, we both have a healthy sense of irony, so it works out in a weird way. We both end up laughing at ourselves and each other. And because we love each other, we both generally get what we want.

    Reply

  9. GotJesus, I think opposites attract that way. I am also a moderately assertive type-A, and I’m not sure whether a passive aggressive type or another person like me (with an inherent need to win) would drive me more bonkers. I don’t mind passivity—I actually find that type of person calming. You and your wife have undoubtedly found that equilibrium. It’s the deliberate aggression hiding behind supposed passivity (‘cowardice’ is the word I’m looking for) that spawned the getting of my goat in this instance.

    Reply

  10. Mihow! I have news for you that will make you smile no matter what! Walter Schieffels from Gorilla Biscuts/Quicksand/Rival Schools is releasing another album…and it is fucking good! Go to http://www.coolfer.com/blog/ and look at the item dated 8/28.

    Regards.

    BSmith

    Reply

  11. I may have gotten myself a copy of that already because I’m active aggressive when it comes to stealing music. Yay me. I could send some your way, I could. I also got the new Faint and the new Shins. I am a bad person going to a Mormon hello.

    BTW, you guys rock with your goats and horses, donkeys and sea lions. Let’s be friends.

    Reply

  12. Any suggestions as to which stealing service to use to find those???

    Reply

  13. It’s name is Toby Joe. I might be able to hook you up. Email me, sir BSmith.

    Reply

  14. incidentally, I have no idea where the apostrophe in “mormons” above came from. I swear it wasn’t there in my head.

    Reply

  15. “you guys rock with your goats and horses, donkeys and sea lions. Let’s be friends.”

    that’s gotta be the best valentine since “I choo choo choose you.”

    Reply

Leave a Reply