The Food Series (Featuring Toby Boudreaux as himself).

In our present-day household what we consider to be “drugs” is translated into another 1 syllable word called “food”. Food is lovely. And much like drugs, food can also drive can certain people in this household to kill if we don’t have it. Food is important.

Yesterday evening, Toby called me from the Muni FREAKING THE HELL OUT over how hungry he was. I was already home, resting so comfortably my hand was down the front of your pants. Toby and I? We did the usual dance that we do,

“You hungry?”

“Yeah, I’m hungry.”

“Where ya wanna go?”

“I don’t know. Where do you wanna go?”

“Sushi?”

“No that was pricey. Thai?”

“Nah. Why don’t we eat in?”

“Yeah… but we have nothing to eat there… I’ll buy something on my way home.”

“Sounds good. I’ll be here. Waiting.”

After a fitful conversation between two dieting, obviously hungry mates, it was decided that home was our best bet. And so the Bean went shopping.

Normally, when Toby arrives home from work he kisses me. It’s just his thing. (I was once bitched at on the L Train in Brooklyn for NOT kissing him immediately upon our meeting). So we kiss. And I love it. But last night Toby didn’t kiss me. Which was the best thing considering he would have probably eaten my face.

The boy was out of control eating everything in sight. I took pictures, just like Ashkhn Sahihi. Granted, I ain’t no fashion photographer, nor did I care much for light and focusing but here is TobyJoe eating five different foods while making our meal.

Clearly, we need evening activities.

25 Comments

  1. In our house that is called “emergency hunger”. I am the one who is often struck by emergency hunger and it is quite an ugly state of being—I once shoved and entire Toyota minivan down my throat because there was some broken M&M’s in the carpet on the floor of the back seat. Don’t mess with emergency hunger.

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  2. Ok, these pics are awesome! I that a phat juicer in the back of the kimchi photo?

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  3. ”…resting so comfortably, my hand was down the front of your pants.”

    Wow…now that’s comfort!

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  4. you guys move to san francisco and toby starts rockin the dirt-stache. i see how it is.

    incidentally sid is still offended that you never came to see him before you left.

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  5. Well, nifkin, we DO live on Sanchez.

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  6. I know that food dance all too well. Mike and I do it every night. “What do you wanna eat?”, “I don’t know, what do you want?” I usually lose that battle as I end up scrounging to find something edible. I am trying to change that though by having some sort of plan when before he gets home. Ugh. I sound like some sort of housewife from the ‘50’s!

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  7. Well, this dance used to also involve me freaking out and picking fights. But now that I’ve been on this South Beach diet-thingy, I have settled down and having hit anyone for over a week now. So if I don’t lose a pound, at least Toby will.
    Oh, and I think Kimchi is my favorite. He just looks so mindless. heh

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  8. Cathy, you chose the life of a 50’s housewife, so don’t complain. I mean, it’s so typical – two highly intellectual people with grad degrees in International Relations move to a raucous gay mecca so that one of the pair can work for a gigantic software company while the other goes to yoga with their prodigal 2 year old while preparing for med school. I’m actually disgusted with how classically American that story is! For shame!

    Nifkin – michele woke me up saying that you were making fun of me, so I shaved.

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  9. You shaved,Toby? NEVER let anyone wheedle you into shaving facial hair for ANY REASON. Sport your sprouts with pride and dignity.
    (mihow-good thing you got the food series pre-razor;thaey would not be nearly as good with a clean-shaven tj)

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  10. This Nifkin fella must be a powerful man. Nifkin, can you make fun of me for being poor?

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  11. yeah…and mock me for being single!

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  12. (wow…that sure sounded pathetic)

    :)

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  13. Pathetic is a hell of a lot more attractive than desperate [at least that’s what I’m hoping].

    Did anybody notice how similiar Toby on kimchee is to This Kid on heroin?

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  14. Donald, I just peed my pants.

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  15. Toby: I know our lifestyle is kind of American but I don’t think it is very typical. I mean how many “real” Americans (and by this I mean those who don’t live in the major cities of the US) would chose to raise their child in the Gay HQ of the world???!!! And, yeah, I did chose to stay at home, but I never realized that it sounded so 1950’s until I made my earlier post! :o)

    And yes, we plan on taking Belly to see the Gay Pride Parade this weekend. Wanna join us?

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  16. C – I was actually joking about how very far from the post-war subarban 50’s you guys are… sorry if that wasn’t clear :)

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  17. Yes, we’ll be joining you for damn sure. I have the inside scoop as well. We’re so gonna have the best seats on the street.

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  18. anybody want to borrow my chaps?

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  19. Toby: No worries! I know you were joking!:o)
    Mihow: Lets talk later about when and where to meet. Belly is all excited about going to parade! How many kids can say that their first parade was the Gay Pride Parade in San Francisco!!!!

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  20. Donnie – you DON’T have chaps. Do you? The Folsom Street Festival is this weekend. I could get a “Daddy’s Lil Cub” tshirt for you.

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  21. If you send them, I will wear them

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  22. With or without pants underneath??? :o)

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  23. Chaps, a jockstrap and a Daddy’s Li’l Cub T, preferably sleeveless.

    Now that’s what I call Casual Friday

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  24. It’s 11:44 in the evening (west coast time) I might be a little bit drunk on wine and saki—so not part of the South Beach diet. Either way, just lookin at that picture of Toby eating kimchi rules my chaps. Right now. Yeah.

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  25. Hey, as long as everyone out there is going to the Gay Pride parade, I’ll be thinking of you as I go to our Gay Pride parade here in Minneapolis Sunday morning. We may have the next largest parade to yours. Or so I’m told.

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