Due west please

Do western people think of the east and say,

Wow, the mountains through Pennsylvania and West Virginia sound beautiful! I wish I could travel out that way to see it!

Do they wonder about Vermont and a cape on Massachusetts? Do they wonder what the swampy south looks like and if people really, really talk that way?
I am constantly somewhere else. I always wonder what it looks like in Idaho or Iowa, Montana, Arizona, Oregon, South Dakota. And some days, it’s such a powerful yearning, I run off to some ticket agent in search of some deal, in search for someone to say

Michele, I’ll send you to Boise for only 150.00! This weekend!

I saw the desert a few years back. I drove a convertible right through the lowest part of land I had never imagined. I thought about it being at the bottom of the sea. When I drove by a small convenient store, I wondered,

How much money can they possibly make there? Who shops there? Who lives here? What is this place? Holy shit! There’s a ram. We have deer and beavers, they have rams.

There are two parts to this. Part one: I want to see America. I want to see it so badly, some days sitting in an office, beneath recycled air-conditioning makes me want to Gumprun till even this gal’s face grows a beard. I want to not wonder what it’s like to see the earth curve against something green and wavy. I want to touch a cacti. I want to see Crater Lake, the Badlands, Death Valley, and those amazing rivers Brad Pitt pretend fly-fished on in Montana. I must do this. See these things.
Part two: What is it the west wonders about here, in the east? Really? What do we have that you long to see? (I’ll trade you). New York City? You could go to Vegas, they rebuilt it somewhat, and the gum is fake there and the booze is free—a word foreign to New York. Is it New Orleans? Is it Miami? Is it here? What does the east have?
I wander west every day. I think

How can I get a hold of a car for two weeks in order to travel out there? How can I do this for myself? It can’t be that hard, right? Me. Due west. Please.

Some days are worse than others. When there’s a turn in the weather, I’m so antsy it’s impossible to focus. (I need to figure this out).

10 Comments

  1. need a driver?
    ive always wanted to go to tijuana.
    which is sad, becuase i have been to san diego, but i was with my grandparents, but they wouldnt let me go. scared i was going to get an ear cut off or something.

    we could stop at truckstops!

    Reply

  2. Days like today I want to run home, grab a bottle of sunscreen and take the first flight to Cuba to escape this horrible joke that is called “Spring” in Ottawa.

    I saw Buena Vista Social club, I’ll fit right in!

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  3. Spill it folks. Tell me more. Make me feel not so antsy pantsy.

    I’ll pay for all the gas, Andrea. And you can sleep in my tent. I’ll even pay to have your car tweaked for the trip. Let. Us. Go. You, Nif, me and TJ. WOOP!

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  4. you said “Idaho”—you da ho! YOU’RE A WHORE! What’s is like being a WHORE, you WHORE?

    Reply

  5. you should go asap. I love the west. I’ve driven over almost every part of the country. I remeber the drive from Salt Lake City up through Idaho and Oregon on the way to Seattle was really amazing. I love Idaho…

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  6. Damnit! That’s it. I’m making plans. Even if it’s for a year from now, I’m doing it. I’ll rent a mini van. do they do such a thing for two weeks? rent cars? I’ll be putting a LOT of mileage on it, that’s for sure. hmmmmmm

    Reply

  7. I heard about some organization you can sign up for where you drive richies’ cars from the east, out west. This organization pays for the insurance and stuff, and the people don’t have to deal with getting their car relocated.

    Does this ring a bell to anyone?

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  8. Mihow, this process is called the “Driveaway”. Problem is, I’m not sure if it allows you to do a whole lot of sight-seeing on the way, or if you’ve got a limited time to get to your destination. But it’s definitely worth a look into… even if you droveaway out west, then rented a vehicle just for the ride back.

    Sounds like heaps and globs of fun, no matter how you slice it.

    Reply

  9. Could just be me, but the list I’m looking at is really hard to follow. Dang nabbit.

    Reply

  10. I signed up for one. We’ll see.

    Reply

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