Shuttin face

I have nothing to say. But I’m sure some folks do. You may fill my comments section with stories about bodily functions, noises, problems etc, appendices falling from where they belong, stories about how you hate your job, stories about anything you want. Really. Anything. Fill ‘er up please. :]
I have a question that has plagued me since I was a child. Why do folks pull out a flashlight to a child’s “rump” in search of worms in the middle of the night? Or did I make that up—pulling from the darkest depths of my juvenile brain? (This did NOT happen to me, someone told me a story once with this information in it, or I overheard an adult tell another adult [the latter is the most likely] and it stuck with me). Carry on. mihow is shuttin face.

33 Comments

  1. Woah! I have not heard that happening ever before. These weren’t priests talking around you, were they? ba dum bum.

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  2. I have never heard of that. I think you’ve lost your mind, dude.

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  3. worms in the rump!!!!?? Flashlight That must have been some sort of southern backwoods phenomenon :). I’ve never heard of any one having worms let alone looking for them.

    Although my cat had worms once. There was no need for a flashlight though. blech.

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  4. i figured I made it up. I made a lot of shit up when I was a kid. My cat too had worms. Remember that Nico? It was gross. He’d run by and WAM! wormo right on his ass. Gross. Freaked me out.

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  5. I had this strange fear of getting worms though. I once heard if you get it, they eventually crawl out of any orfice on you. I had nightmares that I’d be sleeping at night, and a worm would make its way out of my mouth or the corner of my eye.

    Totally not rational, I know. I’m a girl.

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  6. Pinworms

    Pinworm infections are common in families with small children. If your child has pinworms, you may notice your child moving around a lot in bed at night or being unable to sleep because of an itchy bottom. The itching is caused by a female pinworm that comes out of the rectum to lay eggs around the anus (the opening to the rectum). Sometimes tiny worms (shorter than 1/2 inch) may be seen on the child’s bottom at night or they may show up in the child’s bowel movement.

    article here

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  7. Holy crap. Well, look at that. So at some point I heard a conversation about this and it must have scared the hell out of me. Hmmmm, thanks Nifkin. You rule the worm world.

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  8. Michele, I remember that as well because Mom used to make me go in your room in the middle of the night to get rid of the butt worms that you had.

    I would yell “I don’t want to go near her butt worms!!!”, but mom would make me do it or she’d lock me in a closet for a week.

    That and we had to burn your sheets every weekend to get rid of the lice.

    (Actually, I do remember hearing the thing about flashlights while being a kid also. I think mom told us that in order to scare the poop out of us and into washing our hands.)

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  9. I’ve gots a short story for ya – it involves those sheets on backorder for you. I got another notice the other day, so I finally got around to calling. First off – I think they outsourced the customer service department to India. So, as you may have guessed after well over a year, the item has been discontinued. Now the difficulty – stop these backorder notices if the item is discontinued. ‘Sorry sir, I show this item has been discontinued.’ ‘That’s fine. Stop these backorder notices from coming.’ Using ‘backorder’ was a mistake – served as a keyword. ‘It’s not on backorder…’ Eventually, I got her to type a message or something saying to stop the notices. But this exchange went on for a few humorous minutes.

    To add some opinion to the piece – I got at least the same level of english-speaking capability (she had a thick accent, but spoke slow and deliberate) and didn’t have to deal with someone who stopped caring years before they were born. If my goodies cost less because of this, go outsourcing, go!

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  10. Do I get my friggin money back?

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  11. Ah yes, I forgot to mention that in my long post – check to see if you were charged for it. The policy is to not charge until it is shipped, so they may not have charged you yet (instead charging you for the part of the order that does ship – I know Amazon did this). But without proof you got charged for them, I’m not going to make any headway. (‘My sister said she was charged already,’ doesn’t persuade them)

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  12. I love customer service… remind me to tell you about our NEW dsl woes. Indeed. I swear to crap we’ll NEVER get high speed internet where we live. Fucking morons.

    Comcast is slowly making its way onto my ihate list.

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  13. Here’s a story for you (to fill this up with, since you asked): I was just starting to see this guy, and things were going GREAT. All of a sudden on NYE, he calls me at 8:30 (like I don’t have any plans) and tells me that he’s going to a party at so-and-sos house. I had to ask, “So, are you inviting me?” and he said ‘yeah, call me when you’re about to come over and I’ll give you directions.’ So I call him, and get his voicemail. I leave a message, and don’t hear back from him until 3:15 am. He calls and says, “Are you mad?” “Uh, yeah…..”
    So, his excuse is that it was loud and they started doing shots. I told him I called him 15 min. after he originally called me, ‘cause I knew that’d be the case if I called later on. He then tells me that a friend had to tell him to check his phone for messages since it was beeping. So I say, “So you didn’t even think to check it on your own? Nice.” Things were seriously great before NYE. Haven’t heard from him since. I guess he figured why bother to try.

    Why are guys such boners?

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  14. People are goofy. Insecure and goofy. Boys do dumb things. Girls do too. But I think many boys follow this motto: “He who dies with the most pussy, wins.”

    And this just proves me right, NYE is poopie pants.

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  15. This totally proved to me that NYE is just as poopie pants as Vday, and I ain’t talking about Veneral disease day. I’m here all week.

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  16. I totally agree with you Mihow. Men are willing to do really stupid things, possibly affecting their entire lives, just to get some. Assholes.

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  17. Due to previous comments I’ve made and the repercussions suffered, I’m not allowed to join this discussion!!!! ;)

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  18. You weren’t really going to deny it, were you?

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  19. A friend of mine was AT that party that he was at, and he wasn’t ‘getting any’ from some other girl, according to her. I think he just wanted to drink with his friends, and not worry about entertaining me, but didn’t know how to tell me that. Our relationship is pretty new, and while I don’t think NYE is a big deal, maybe boys do. Or at least maybe this boy does.

    But I totally agree, most guys will do anything for the poon tang, no matter how good they currently have it.

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  20. LAKe, do not taunt, provoke, or encourage happy fun bob. :]

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  21. Sorry—I will lay off of him!! This issue is just very close to my heart right now and I get worked up about it VERY easily!

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  22. No, no, no. I was only teasing. My
    her gets himself into trouble when talking about this kind of stuff; Best to not encourage him. Believe me you! hehe

    I’m sorry to hear that. I have been there myself. Indeed. Men tend to make piss poor decisions sometimes. That’s for damn sure. Holy crap, I have some stories, actually, I’m sure we all do. :[

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  23. weak-willed assholes (male and female) cheat.

    Therefore, Don’t date weak-willed assholes. I took that advice and I’m now happily married. She’s an asshole, but she’s not weak-willed. Kidding! Just kidding!

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  24. I’m just convinced that there are no ‘good’ men out there, that they are all stupid and willing to do anything, damn the consequences. Its not giving me a very bright outlook on the future! Someone I had all the faith in the world in just really ruined it for me!

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  25. I have now been informed that in fact my wife is NOT an asshole. Any reference I have may have made to that is WRONG. I apologize. She is in fact a very non-asshole type who puts up with me screaming at the TV that Joe Paterno is an old ding bat who wouldn’t know a decent game plan if it bit him in the ass.

    I beg forgiveness. And I promise to buy her a pony for V-day.

    But seriously, anyone who cheats has a serious character flaw. And most men don’t in fact cheat.

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  26. Okay, I went through this years ago as well. There are two ways you can react to this:

    1. Determine that all men (or women, in my case) are swine. This will leave you miserable and very bitter.

    or

    2. Determine that that one guy is a swine and you’ll just have to find someone who isn’t.

    It’s difficult as hell to go through, but option two will leave you much happier in the long run.

    Sorry that you are going through this, it’s one of the worst feelings in the world.

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  27. It is one of the most horrid feelings in the world. That is true. And I don’t presume to even know the extent of it for you. I will say this much as I had this happen to me before as well (haven’t we all?) [Those who haven’t, you’re lucky bastards indeed] It’s easy to become a bitter asshole after going through something like this. And when you’re in the situation, it’s easy to become a cynical bastard as the folks who do bad, take the bad to a new foul-smelling level of hell, making it super easy to forget that there are indeed some wonderfully, loving human beings out there.

    It’s like with anything, the negative speaks so much louder than all the good. And, even though some may say, “Damn, michele is obsessed with Tobyjoe! Shut up already!” I’m just trying to spread the word that there are some great people out there. And just when you’ve given up all hope of ever being able to trust someone, someone comes along and surprises you.

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  28. It is one of the most horrid feelings in the world. That is true. And I don’t presume to even know the extent of it for you. It has happened to me as well. (haven’t we all been through this?) [Those who haven’t, you’re lucky bastards indeed] It’s easy to become a bitter asshole after going through something like this. And when you’re in the situation, it’s easy to become a cynical bastard as the folks who do bad, take the bad to a new foul-smelling level of hell, making it super easy to forget that there are indeed some wonderfully, loving human beings out there.

    It’s like with anything, the negative speaks so much louder than all the good. And, even though some may say, “Damn, michele is obsessed with Tobyjoe! Shut up already!” I’m just trying to spread the word that there are some great people out there. And just when you’ve given up all hope of ever being able to trust someone, someone comes along and surprises you.

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  29. This doesn’t mean to say, I don’t still hold a little spite for certain people who wronged me. Life is truly not long enough to bother with people like this. They’re insecure pricks who (in the end) sort of deserve what they get; Which is a lonely life built on very fragile, or non-existent friendships. I don’t pity them, but I am the first to flaunt what I have when they’re in my presence. :]

    I hope you’re doing ok. I know how low low can be.

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  30. God bless ya, seriously, ‘cause I’ve just about given up all hope on finding a normal, non-retarded in relationships kind of guy.
    I’ve been cheated on before, too, and it sucks balls. I think almost everyone goes through a heart stomping before they meet a good one. You just have to experience the bad to know what being in a good thing is like. I haven’t experienced a good thing yet, but I know it’s out there.

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  31. YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING LOSERS TALKING ABOUT ASS WORMS HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

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  32. YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING LOSERS TALKING ABOUT ASS WORMS HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

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