I’m in an angry mood. I wasn’t earlier, but now I am. It appears some freelance relationships just aren’t meant to be. I’m beginning to realize that I should probably try and focus on the “real” job instead of trying to please everyone as I think I’m beginning to wear myself thin. Which, in turn, does a number on my self-esteem, leading me into thinking things like,
I can’t handle anything.
Two things which (deep inside) I know aren’t true. But when someone sends an email filled with ideas like,
You really should have…
Well, we really needed it last night…
I begin to question what it is I’m good at. Perhaps it’s time to get a little bit more stern… learn how to say “No” and call it a day. I don’t know. Really, tell me, is money really that important? What a sad bunch of humans most of us are. This could be the beginning of the end, a beginning I thought started a year ago.
I am not a secure enough person to handle this work-lecture shit. So what to do instead? Perhaps it’s time to turn my back.