Pizzaria Uno

Last night Toby and I met in Union Square Park. To watch the dogs and talk about dinner. We ended up at Pizzaria Uno on 3rd Avenue (again). A few weeks ago, we decided to see a movie and needed a rather quick bite to eat. And Pizzaria Uno is directly across the street from the theater of said movie. And since then we’ve been nearing a “regular” status. I recognized two of the waiters last night and the host sat us at the same table we had the previous time. Granted, we’ve only been there about 4 times total, but I still find it funny. We’re in New York City, the Mecca of all choices, and we find ourselves coming back to Chicago’s finest.

What do you want to eat? Madras? Mary Annes?

I asked.

Well…. Kate’s, but it’s too hard to get to. And I’m hungry. But I want something light, like a salad or something.

He answered.

Wanna go to our pizza place again?

I asked.

Sure. It’s cheap.

I giggled.


We live in New York City and we’re going to a place with the tagline “Chicago’s Bar and Grill” I find that funny.

I answered.

I’m just preparing myself for moving to suburbia.

A few things I have noticed about the Pizzaria Uno on 3rd and 10th:
1). Most of the waiters are gay. (As Toby said to my brother last night,

To work here, one must worship the cock

2). The music selection features the 80s variety, (such as Pat Benetar or Till Tuesday) OR 80s TV show themes without the words (such as Mash or Bosom Buddies).
3). Hot girls aren’t afraid to eat there alone, and they order the flaming meat dish which fills the restaurant with the smell of flaming meat which then starts a chain reaction to the ordering of flaming meat.
4). Everything is huge. Everything. The iced teas, the Mountain Dew, the veggie burgers, the side salad and the flaming meat. All. Huge. And if I keep eating there, I may join the ranks.


  1. yay for pizzaria uno’s! you’re going to looooove suburbia….
    but instead of loving the cock as a waiter-requisite, you must instead be the MOST CHEERFUL person that ever did live. refer to:


  2. ha ha ha!!!

    Damn that paper is funny. Holy cow. Thank, resa.


  3. SHIT!

    Where’s my GOD DAMNED EDITOR!


  4. fixed. I do apologize, I did not order the mountain dew. :(


  5. “Flaming Meat” is the name of my fifth album.


  6. As long as it’s not, “Hot Girls Eat There Alone,” although that may be the name of my first movie. Har.


  7. “Hot Girls Eat Their Alone”


    c’mon, there has to be some ennuendo in there somewhere…


  8. Who wrote that? You? you’re dirty. sick-o. dirty boy. you shall be punished by a constant rotation of the Veggie Fruit Fruit song. Indeed.






  10. Veggie fruit fruit.
    Veggie veggie fruit fruit.
    Veggie fruit fruit.
    Veggie veggie fruit.

    I simply have to tell you that my friends
    Who are singing are delectable.
    Meals are divine as longs as
    You combine the fruits and vegetables.

    They are good for you everyone.
    They make your meals a lot of fun.
    Like a carnival!
    It’s nice to be with fruit and vegetables.

    There are no substitutes for we,
    veggie fruit fruit,
    Veggie veggie fruit fruit.
    You see, a balanced meal
    always wins with our vitamins D & C
    C, C, fruit fruit.
    Veggie veggie fruit fruit.
    Veggie fruit fruit.

    Veggie fruit fruit..
    Veggie veggie fruit fruit.
    Veggie fruit fruit.
    Veggie veggie fruit fruit.



  11. fuckin a, right, they are.

    vegan reprazent!


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