People and total laziness. Elevator out.

I am blown away by the levels of laziness I see on a daily basis. But today’s example hit a level astronomically high. We have two elevators in our building. One is the front entrance (directly off Broadway) the other is the freight elevator which is down the street about 30 feet, turn left on to Spring street, walk another 20 or so feet and there it is on the left. It is dark and basement-like. There are mouse traps, there is moisture, and there is trash. Lots of trash. The note on the door this morning read: ELEVATOR OUT. PEOPLE USE FREIGHT. I walked in figuring, hell I can walk my ass up the stairs.

A woman exiting said to me (because I can’t read)

The elevator is out. We have to use the freight


Can I use the stairs?

Her (grunting)

I mean, I GUESS you can. If you really WANT to.


I could use the exercise.

So could you, I thought.

Does anyone see the absurdity in this? It took more energy for her to walk to the scary freight elevator, then to just haul her ass up the damn stairs. I don’t get it. Why are folks so lazy? What happens to us as we age? When we were kids we didn’t even really think about it. What happens to us as we get older? She must have been my age, maybe a bit younger. Is laziness a disease? Does it eventually cripple people, forcing them to live a life sitting on the couch, eating potato chips, and drinking hot fudge? It makes me sad. Even if I do live longer they won’t be around for me to say,

I told you so.

I don’t have a lot of patience for the lazy. Zilch. Zero. If you want to be lazy, that’s fine, but don’t stand it up in front of me. (And [if you’re capable] you could move your ass a bit quicker on those subway stairs as well).
(I’ll probably get hit by a falling air-conditioner or a bus today).


  1. I’m flabbergasted at the amount of laziness in my hometown. People drive everywhere there. In the house where I spent most of my childhood, if you stepped out in the street just to the right of the house and looked down a perpendicular street to mine, you could see my one grandmother’s house. We’re talking 4, maybe 5 small-town blocks. I don’t recall ever walking to her house. Not once. Trying to get my mother to walk to the oft visited public library (which, weather permitting, is a nice ten minute walk through low-traffic residential areas) is like pulling teeth.

    I shudder to think how different my health & body type would be if I lived like that. If there’s one good thing about living in the city without a car, it’s that all the walking I do is probably adding years to my life.


  2. it’s very sad indeed.

    ironically, I just placed a bid for an old car. Toby says it doesn’t run and that I’m crazy but I told him this:

    ASS YOU!

    I want a car so I too can be a lazy bitch.

    ok, not really. I just think it will make me look cool.

    ok, that’s not so true either. If it doesn’t run I might not look so cool

    This is going nowhere. Sorry.


  3. Everybody knows that the boogidy man lives in the stair wells. She was just being safe.

    Actually, in my office building the first two floors are occupied by the Alexandria School district. I swear, the people who work for the district offices would take an elevator to the first floor if they could.


  4. i am with you. i work in a 4 story building. there are 2 elevators. i figured the only people who used them were #1 the janitors, cause they have to move large barrels from floor to floor, tricky to do on stairs; and #2 old people, cause,w ell, they are old. not true. there are ALWAYS people waiting at the elevators. i like to give them almost nasty looks while i haul my ass up the 3 flights of stairs. i especially like it when they get into the elevator at the same time as when i enter the stairwell (they are next to each other) and we both end up on the 3rd floor at about the same time.
    it’s such a small thing, but it makes me feel good. and also realize that i am petty. but i feel good none the less.


  5. “and also realize that i am petty.”

    I read:
    “and also realize that i am PRETTY.”

    and i was a giggling mess. HOW CUTE! So cute.

    then d’oh! oops.

    It’s odd. Maybe they’re worried about echos.


  6. :)
    your blow-by-blow made me laugh.

    the nasty look thing is getting better daily, cause i am visibly pregnant. altho i will soon join the ranks of the elevator riders, i’m enjoying getting to be self-rightous now. maybe they are worried about echos. it is entirely possible. i kind of want to ask them….


  7. honey, if I were pregnant, i would expect to be carried up those damn stairs.

    You work that magic, use the vator. After you give birther, you’ll have monster-strong mom arms from pickin the little guy up all the time. :)


  8. :)
    plus the permanent lilt to one side- that one hip moms are always carrying their kid on (once they are older). i can’t wait til after he is born- it was very weird to go from picking up 25lb bags of kitty liter to not being “able” to take the trash out.
    i am however psyched that soon i will get a temp. medical pass to park nice and close to the building. i will always be on time (not really). i hate parking far away, i never manage to figure that into my plans, so i am routinely about 15 minutes late. it will be sweet to just step out of the building and get in my car/park and be right at the building….lazy, but sweet.


  9. I’m quite lazy in my own right…but I’m lazy at home. I don’t walk around being lazy at people in public places. I don’t slow to a crawl when I am in a mall so that the people behind smash into me; when I used to work, I never told customers we were out of something because I was too lazy to go and get it.

    I don’t care if people themselves are lazy and whatnot, but when their laziness impedes my going about my business, it drives me crazy. And there is nothing worse than a lazy co-worker because it usually means you have to pick up their slack.


  10. Being lazy at home is totally cool.

    I am often the person who lays about reading all day long.


    You speak the truth about work. Ouch.


  11. i consider laziness a form of aesthetic terrorism.

    i wanna see people enjoying themselves, enjoying life – not listlessly meandering from one point to another, piggybacking any vehicle they can, trying to muster the energy to hate themselves and the world around them…

    granted, i do understand the conditions which often lead to such malaise, and i do wish i could change the source, instead of fighting the symptoms, but i think that if folks would muster up enough spark to make themselves relatively happy (as opposed to relatively content), the conditions that sap the life out of all of us would be a bit weaker, if only by virtue of our increase in strength.

    smile, lard ass! you’re alive and your problems are petty and superficial! revel in that!

    (i start to sound like Nietzsche sometimes…)


  12. I think you sound perfect.

    Just don’t take on his sexual habits and I won’t beat your ass.


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