Is This Really Necessary?

posted by mihow on October 4th, 2005

This morning there was a dildo riding a SEGWAY on the elevator. I’m sorry, did I just say “dildo”? I meant perfectly able rich man.

He’s now second in line in receiving the award for the biggest ass. The contender is still somewhere in San Francisco. This gent rode his SEGWAY around the grocery store and once he reached the check-out line, proceeded to put it into reverse over and over again all the while running into the walls making up the isle. Eventually, he got off, turned it manually, and pushed it through the isle.

I silently judged him. To be honest, I am not sure why SEGWAYS bug me so much.

19 Responses to “Is This Really Necessary?”

  1. mia Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 07:51 AM

    maybe because they’re a cruel insult to people who, through nature or accident, do not have bodies that work well and must use devices to assist in getting around?

    perhaps because they’re an insult to people who’ve struggled through surgeries and physical therapy, learning to propel themselves again.

    perhaps because people who don’t seem to appreciate the incredibly strong and fragile body we all have to make peace with just make you sad.

    there is a man i see all the time who has to drag himself around, he’s suffering from the muscle wasting effects of HIV meds. he has to wear pads on his joints, and he listens to headphones to help him deal with the pain. sometimes he has to take breaks and literally hang on something nearby. People stare at him because he looks like the walking dead. But i love and admire him, and feel like a huge imbecile for everything i’ve ever complained about.

    perhaps because SEGWAY users are the polar opposite of champions like the man i see.

  2. andrea Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 08:26 AM

    see, i was just going to say, you look silly on a segway. worse than moped silly, not nearly as cool as skateboard silly.

  3. David Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 08:34 AM

    Ha! I remember when that happened in SF, too damn funny.

  4. Sherri Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 09:21 AM

    Because Segue users may as well be wearing a neaon sign that shrieks “I’m a lazy mother-fucking asshat. Now get out of my way so I can roll on past in my ridiculous-looking, oversized scooter while I gain 20 pounds.”

  5. mihow Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 09:30 AM

    Sherri, you had me at hello. Is it really Seque? Holy Moly, that’s even more absurd. They spell it like they’re special, too.

  6. Charlie Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 11:21 AM

    chirp i bet i know what kind of mobile phone he uses, too. chirp

  7. mihow Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 11:23 AM

    ::chirp:: different demographic ::chirp::

  8. Amanda B. Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 11:30 AM

    I sorta like Segues, but I doubt if I’d ride one around town. I don’t know, maybe I would. I also sorta like dildos, but I definatly would never take one out in public. So that’s one in my favor.

  9. mihow Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 11:33 AM

    I think I hate the way they actually look. They look like new things that look like they were designed in 1982. Dildos are perfect, on the other hand. P.S. I am not sure if I’m proud about NOT knowing how to spell “Seque”. Or if I am a huge dildo, too.

  10. Sherri Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 12:38 PM

    I’m not sure how it’s spelled, I think it is Segway, but I’m too lazy to go look it up.

  11. zac Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 12:39 PM

    I don’t know what has made me laugh more..everyone’s horrible misspelling of easy words, or everyone’s perfect spelling of dildo..

  12. annejelynn Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 01:10 PM

    looks can be deceiving – I wouldn’t assume he’s well and able if he’s using one of those. My old boyfriend (he was 28 when I met him) used to be ridiculed often to his own face (and definitely behind his back) about using a cane and having a handicapped parking permit

  13. annejelynn Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 01:13 PM

    ps Sedways are ridiculous for well-abled bodies (like your well able elevator-riding rich guy)

  14. annejelynn Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 01:14 PM

    oop! the rest of my first comment didn’t post? where’d it go-go?

  15. andrea Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 02:31 PM

    annapolis has a shop called “segs in the city” where you can rent them. they are also an internet cafe, and have yoga classes.

  16. mihow Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 05:22 PM

    Zac, I will never misspell dildo. No sir.

  17. Amanda B. Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 06:19 PM

    I don’t know how to spell anything. I could look it up, copy and paste it, and still spell it incorrectly.

  18. mihow Says:
    October 4th, 2005 at 06:26 PM

    I know, right? For example, “dildo” shows up (in Safari) with the red squiggly below it as if it’s spelled incorrectly. here is what it tells me to choose instead. I wonder how Dido feels about that. hmmmmmmm

    I can’t spell my own name half the time which is why I shortened it to “mihow”.

  19. Rick Says:
    September 15th, 2006 at 05:29 PM

    I like segways fine, though they do look retarded. It’s not like any of us spend our entire day on our feet – and those that do, they can use a little help. We saw these cops in chicago on segways, that made sense. Though I do think they should have flames on the side of them, or maybe badges.

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