Babble apparently reached the end of the Internet. After 11 years of writing, I’ve been named to Babble’s Top 100 Mom Blogs of 2011. I’m ranked 92. That means there are only 91 moms better than me on the entire Internet.
OK. So, there are a few things that are kind of funny about this. I will start by saying, I’m grateful. Of course I’m grateful. Who wouldn’t be grateful for any sort of recognition, big or small? But! (And, yes, there is a but!) I barely wrote this year.
I have been blogging for 11 years. Eleven. That’s a long, long time. And I’ll be super honest with you, there were times over those 11 years where I became disgruntled about the whole blog ranking, award thing. To be frank: I worked my ass off on this blog in the past. I typed and typed and typed. To quote one of my favorite emo bands: “I typed for miles”. I put my heart into every post during some of those years. I wrote almost every day. I spilled my guts out about postpartum depression, Emory’s birth (which didn’t go too well!) and my miscarriage. Many suggest that if you write decent content, you’ll get noticed. I decided I must not be writing decent content. And then something kind of broke inside of me, unrelated to blogging entirely. I became sort of withdrawn online. (Hello, infertility!)
Now here is where I’m going to sound like an arrogant asshole AND an ungrateful bitch. Year after year I worked my ass off blogging and then some blogger award list would come out and no one ever paid me any mind. Not even a “Yeah! We see you, but no thanks. Others are better.” And I’d ask Toby, “Why doesn’t anyone notice at all?” And usually he’d reply with something about “playing the game”, which is how this post was born. And then I’d get really mad at myself for caring even slightly, because I’d like to think I’m above all that (even when I’m not).
Listen, I am seriously grateful. And it has me feeling a little rejuvenated to write. But, dude.
Why now? Why this year, a year I barely wrote at all? A year I have told Toby, on several occasions, pretty much every time we get a receipt from our hosting company, “Let’s pull this car over once and for all and get out.” Two things stop me every time: the archives that I never, ever want to lose. Backing everything up takes time. And we don’t have much in the way of time these days. The second thing (and the most important) are you people, the regulars who continue to visit, comment and email me.
SO! Thank you, Babble, for noticing me. There are probably other mom bloggers out there who worked much, much harder this year than I have, and I’d like to give those moms a nod and a noogie. And if you’re one of those people and you’re reading this now, send me a link to your site, because I want to read what you have to say. Lastly, as a blogger (hell, as a human being) I know how it feels when these type of lists come out. Believe me! I know. But keep writing, people. Don’t give up. Because who knows, after 11 (or never) years, someone may finally throw you a bone. And if they don’t? You’re still a bad ass motherf*cker.
You are a bad ass motherf*cker! Seriously, I am very glad you are still blogging, even if only occasionally. Some of your posts have helped me personally through some tough times – times when you felt like no one could possibly understand – and knowing that someone did understand made it a bit easier to cope.
Congrats on making the list! Well deserved.
Congratulations! I found your blog because of Murray and stuck with you because we (unfortunately) have a lot in common (miscarriage, infertility). I enjoy your writing and am happy you received some recognition!
I found your blog when I was pregnant with my daughter and you were then pregnant with Emory, I read about Murray (where is that guy anyway Tuesdays are so boring these days :) And adopted a lovely kitten named Dave because Murray reminded me how much I missed having a crazy animal presence in the house. I kept reading during my second successful pregnancy (when you were pregnant with Elliot) and I will keep reading as long as you continue to post. You are the ONLY blog I follow, because honestly your the only one worth my time. As a mother of 2 time is like gold, as you well know. You crack me up, and make me think. Thanks, and keep it up!
Congratulations! I really enjoy your blog and will continue to read as long as you are willing to post.
There is something about your writing that is very relatable, honest and direct – which is different from other mommy blogs. I followed along during my pregnancy (when you were pregnant with Elliot) and enjoyed reading the archives from your pregnancy with Emory and your struggles with infertility and miscarriage. You did pour your heart out and your posts were more than deserving of some recognition! While I’m sure it is frustrating not to have been recognized by these “lists” before, there are lots of people out there (like me) who would put you at the top of their personal lists.
And I know you haven’t posted much this year but there was one post that really stood out: The Comfort Of Strangers. (I’m Her Ghost.), beautiful.
So, congratulations on something long overdue! And thank you for continuing to share with us.
Thanks, Caitlin! And all you guys.
It’s seriously people like yourselves that have kept me going. I really truly mean that.
And you’re right, ultimately I don’t care about being on a list of any sort. Had I, I’d have throw in the towel a long time ago! But, yeah. I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t sometimes get me down. Which is dumb. I know. It all feels very high school. And yet… I sometimes get sucked in!
But, thanks. You guys mean a great deal to me. There are a few of you who I have seen around these parts for years. And someday I hope to meet you and bake you cupcakes.
You deserve it, honestly. I think I found you through the dooce community, and I haven’t stopped reading since. It’s been awesome.
Props to you and to Babble for finally taking notice.
You should have been recognized years and years ago. You may not be putting as much time into it, but your blog continues to be so honest and inspiring and funny… without it there’s no way we would have been able to stay in touch for all these years!! Kudos to you!
Thanks, Michele! Miss you. Someday we’ll see each other again. DC maybe? Any future trips to DC in your future?
Thanks, guys.
For me, personally, you are one of three blogs I look forward to reading when there’s a post (dooce and the bloggess being the other two).
It does seem odd that when you were putting in more time writing posts you weren’t recognized but when you’ve been so busy you’ve probably barely had time to think, let alone get a post out, they decide to put you on their list.
Oh Babble…I have no words.
To be honest, I think people who look up the who’s who of a certain community miss out on those who haven’t made it to the list for whatever reasons the list makers make up.
Congrats on meeting all the requirements Babble list makers have come up with this year! :D
That reminds me of the “Red” in the Shawshank Redemption – he never gets parole – but the one year he goes before the parole board and doesn’t care what happens turns out to be the year he finally gets out!
I’ve been blogging since 2003 and your post struck a cord with me. Glad you are getting a much deserved moment in the sun. Good job!
Congrats! I guess it’s true, when you don’t pay attention or *try* anymore is when others will notice you. Keep on writing, I enjoy your blog.
I enjoy your blog very much, but rarely comment. I just wanted you to know.
Like some others, I found you via Dooce a number of years ago, and you two are the only blogs I read.
It feels good to get recognized, even though we try and convince ourselves we don’t care. You deserve it, despite the timing being kind of weird. Congrats! I look forward to more posts, even if they are sporadic.
I’m going to be in DC sometime in January. Don’t have dates yet, though. You?
i seriously did a silly bounce on my office chair when i saw your site being recognized. love your blog and i totally re-read your entry about miscarriage when i had one this past june. reading your experience made me feel less alone. a big thank you. :)
I cannot remember how or when I initially came across your blog but I know I quickly added you to my rss reader because of your seeming straight forward opinions and wit. Plus I really like cursing. Congratulations on the nod. It’s well deserved.
I began reading your blog when I was pregnant right after you had Emory. Like another poster said, you are the only blog I follow. I believe that is because you have a gift as a writer. Also, sometimes I think we don’t get the kuddos we deserve when we are in stride, but instead, it is saved for when we need the encouragement to go on…