Carrot Poop.

Emory is six months old today. I can’t believe it’s been six months already! He’s such a big boy. He’s changed so much. Granted, we’ve changed as well, probably even more so than Emory.

Toby has definitely changed. When I married Toby, he couldn’t even mention the word poop let alone clean it off of another human being’s bare ass. It’s amazing what love can do.

If we had done things by the book, we’d celebrate today by giving Emory his first ever jar of solid food. But we started feeding him solids a little over a month ago. It was time. He was outgrowing the milk diet, not that we stopped giving him bottles we just added solid food to the menu to appease his already hearty appetite. We haven’t looked back.

The first time Emory ate baby food, he actually complained between every spoonful, which was really quite funny. If I had to guess what he was thinking it would have been, “DAMMIT WOMAN! WHY DO YOU KEEP REMOVING THIS ODDLY SHAPED, YET TASTY BOTTLE FROM MY MOUTH?!” The complaints have since stopped. Now he differentiates between spoon and bottle. He understands a lot more now, actually. It’s been a hard transition for me because I am used to raising cats who react more to smell and sound. You can hold up a can of tuna or cat food in front of our cats and usually they don’t lift a tail. But the moment you pull out the can opener and actually use it, all hell breaks lose.

Emory isn’t like that. He’s human and therefore understands what something is just by looking at it. I discovered this the hard way one night as I lifted the Bjorn from the floor (where it usually is) and put it in the closet (where it belongs). As soon as he saw it he began furiously kicking his feet and excitedly began yelling, “OOOOOOOH! AHHHHH! GAAAAAHHHH!! EEEKKKKK!” (Translated, that reads: “A WALK! WE’RE TAKING A WALK! I GET TO DANGLE! I WILL SEE LADIES AND HAIR!”) It’s kind of the way a dog acts whenever you grab their leash.

He now knows what a spoon is and that the spoon is going to come back to him holding more food. So instead of screaming between bites, he just waits for it with his mouth wide open much like a baby bird waits for its regurgitated worm.

At the time this post was written, he has eaten all of the following: carrots, pears, apples, bananas, sweet potatoes, peas, winter squash and whole grain rice cereal. He has loved every single last one of them. (For now.) He’s not freaked out by any of it. But we’re a little freaked out by the ever-changing poop.

The first time carrot poop made its grand entrance into the world Toby made a face like “Can we send this one back? It’s malfunctioning.” This happened recently. We were out at the Blackbird Parlor in Williamsburg having an early lunch. We sat right at the front of the restaurant, next to a great big picture window overlooking Bedford Avenue. I had just received a delectable grilled cheese sandwich. Right as I sunk my teeth into it, Emory decided to take a poop. There was no way anything was coming between the sandwich and me so I happily volunteered the car and nominated TobyJoe for diaper duty.

The car stood not 10 feet from the entrance to the Blackbird Parlor, in full site of me and my sandwich. It was like watching a really bizarre TV show on a high-definition flat screen television. This was the episode that Toby changed the baby’s diaper from the backseat of a Toyota while wrinkled-nosed hipsters walked by and I, the mother, sat safely behind a giant pane of glass and watched.

I hadn’t ever seen that many different expressions project from Toby’s face before. Each facial expression told me everything I needed to know. I didn’t need to smell the poop. I could tell from Toby’s face exactly what it smelled like. I didn’t need to see the poop. I could tell from Toby’s face it was shocking as far as poop goes. The passersby, mere extras in this episode, made faces as they stupidly looked over to see what my husband was doing to a baby in the back seat of a Toyota and I could tell by their expressions exactly what Toby was dealing with.

As I finished my sandwich and drained the rest of my cappuccino and my husband added the finishing touches to my baby’s bare butt, I had the overwhelming urge to cheer for him. Toby has come such a long way over the last 6 months and that is what we really should be celebrating today.

19 Comments

  1. Happy 6 month birthday Emory!!! I can’t believe how fast he is growing. Solid food baby poop is the worst but congrats to Toby for handling it so well.

    You are one lucky gal Mihow, an awesome baby boy and an awesome husband to go with him.

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  2. Ah, the joys of carrot poop! I always enjoyed it when someone else changed my daughter’s poopy diapers. Of course, when my ex-husband would change a particularly bad one, I would hear about it for the next few days. Hmmm, maybe that’s one of the reasons he’s my ex-husband ;)

    6 months is a wonderful age – heck they all are wonderful ages. Well, except for those terrible twos, those pretty much sucked – but my daughter wasn’t terrible all the time (she’s 5 now). Before you know it you’ll be potty training him and your baby boy will be a big boy.

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  3. Thanks for the morning giggle – fest. That was too funny.

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  4. Wait for the blueberries..and broccoli, those are gross too! I think it will take 3-4 more months before he actually starts digesting the food, not just processing it in one end and out the other! I remember those days only too well.. ;p

    When Jonah started daycare, they play in rice bins instead of sand bins (cleaner), and I used to find his diapers full of dry rice. After it went all the way through..now that was weird.

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  5. “So instead of screaming between bites, he just waits for it with his mouth wide open much like a baby bird waits for its regurgitated worm.”—The most accurate description ever. My Evan was the same way when we started solids. We had to start him just after 4 months because he had rapidly out-grown the milk diet.
    6 months was a wonderful time. We’re in terrible twos now, but they aren’t so terrible. It was the 4 months leading up to the twos that were terrible!
    Way to go TobyJoe for stepping up to the poopy diaper plate!! You guys all make a wonderful family!

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  6. Time flies when you’re being awesome – happy half-birthday, Emory!

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  7. have you finished giving him milk?

    does this mean you can indulge your stomach in whatever you wish again, and not worry about passing on stuff via milk?

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  8. Jonathan, sadly, I had to stop giving him expressed milk at 4.5 months because of the drugs they gave me for my thyroid. :[ So, I have been able to ingest anything, really. Partly why I think I put on 6 pounds. :[

    But to answer your question, in a roundabout way, he’s still getting formula. (Organic, natch). He’ll get that until he’s a year old and then we’ll move on to organic whole milk. (Mama is gonna have to make that transition as well. I drink 2% when i drink milk, which isn’t often, but still.)

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  9. I prefer 1% milk – i find that it microfoams for lattes/cortados much better than the 2%. whole milk scares me. that’s like drinking cheese.

    i forgot your thyroid issue :( i sent you an email a few weeks back about friends in medicine… the offer will always stand!

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  10. Yeah, well, apparently (if you’re going to go the whole cow milk way as a parent, which we are) you are supposed to use the high fat because the little guy’s need it for development. So, we’ll be getting whole milk and I may have to return to soy or water mine down. We’ll see. I only use it for cereal and coffee, so it may work just perfectly.

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  11. Have you guys tried the Ronnybrook creamline whole milk? It’s all we buy anymore – really good stuff.

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  12. this was hysterical. I was laughing the whole time. Thanks for helping me laugh and congrats on 6 months for all 3 of you. I just got why kids parties are just as much for the adults I think.

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  13. Oh, just wait until you have to give him prunes. Now THAT’S some poop.

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  14. Jen! I have tried that, only recently. I loved it. (That’s the place that sets up on the park, right? If so, yes. They make yogurt as well, I believe.)

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  15. Yes! They’re in most of the greenmarkets and you can buy their stuff on FreshDirect and at Whole Foods as well. I love that you can get their milk in glass bottles and return the empties to them to be reused. I haven’t tried their yogurt but Mike has and liked it, and they also make a really tasty butter. And awesome ice cream!

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  16. Happy 6 months!!!! Man they both have really grown.

    Grace still has amazing berry poops. Sometimes we actually look forward to them because they do not make our eyes burn as we are changing her. One time I got this wild hair to add flax seed to Grace’s food. Omega 3s and all. I wanted to die. Not only was it explosive but the flax was glued to her. I needed a power washer to get it off of her. One of those “the road to hell is paved with good intentions!” scenarios.

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  17. I am EL OH ELING over here, Rachel. Good stuff!

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  18. I once gave my son beets and then went to a movie with my husband while my brother babysat. When we got back, my brother was terrified.

    “Your son…. bleeding… from his bum… what did I do wrong?….”

    oops.

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  19. Ada, that story is hilarious. Totally hadn’t thought about that and it totally makes sense! Poor brother!

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