14 days ago I weighed 155 pounds.
Today I (still) weigh 152 pounds. I haven’t moved much this week. I think it’s because I was seduced by chocolate. Anyway, I’m not going to write about what I ate this week because it pretty much looks like what I ate last week, but I do feel that I must address a few things regarding the whole weight loss thing.
It’s been two weeks since I wrote the post that made the whole world scream. OK, I’m exaggerating. It wasn’t the whole world, but some folks did scream. And I’ve been trying to get my head around why. I’ve decided that the Internet is a perfect platform for people filled with anger to try and make others feel as miserable as they do. I received an email letting me know that I must have mental issues to think 157 pounds is overweight. (I have news for you, Internet: BMI charts don’t lie.) For the life of me I cannot figure out how someone can feel so much animosity toward a complete stranger just because said stranger wrote about wanting to lose weight on the Internet. Could said person feel insecure about his or her own weight gain? Would it have made a difference had I been obese and suggested I wanted to lose weight? And if I were obese, what’s a safe number to admit to weighing and then wanting to lose? Would I have to be the fattest person on the Internet? Sick with diabetes? I’m really trying to understand why my post about how much I weigh and want to lose made people angry.
I am not comparing myself to you or anyone else, I’m comparing myself to me. I have put on weight over the years. I have let things get out of hand, my hand. It’s about me and my weight gain. If you don’t think a size 10 is too big, that’s totally cool. I don’t really think it is either. Sometimes, I even wear a 12/13 but that’s because I have big tits. (Please note: If you are a small breasted woman and unhappy about it, don’t send any hate mail about my boobs. Believe me, I’m unhappy about them as well.) It doesn’t make me any less of a woman if I would rather be a size 8, or, God forbid, smaller.
One person was annoyed by my having used the wrong adjective. That just makes them look stupid. Do you really want to appear fat and stupid. Because I’m assuming that since you’re critiquing my having used the wrong adjective when referring to my weight, you’re sensitive about your own.
Seriously, I’m not trying to be rude. I am not calling anyone fat. I was not trying to make anyone feel badly. I can assure you, I’m not like that. But some of the feedback I received was just downright mean. I fail to see what I wrote that warranted such a backlash. And if I were one to eat whenever I feel badly, I’d have put on weight last week because some of y’all are mean.
Granted, I also received some awesome, incredibly sweet email, words of encouragement, words of wisdom and to all of you who took the time to do so, thank you. You helped counter the bitterness.
To the rest of you mean people, I got 8 words for you: “Your mama’s so fat, she ate the Internet.”
Updates on my weight loss will take place every Saturday in a section called Saturday Stats until I reach my goal.
Part of NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month), where one writes every day for the month of November, which is easier said than done.
Isn’t it weird? I didn’t get so much flak (in real life, here not actually on the internet) for deciding to lose weight at the weight I did (153 or 163 depending which scale you use) but for what I wanted to get to. Not at all overweight women (to my eye) that I know were up in arms that I was planning to go down to 130 or lower if I could manage it. They were sure those numbers were wrong and everything. I wasn’t making this up. I wasn’t getting my numbers from thin air or Cosmo or a pro-ana website for teens I was doing the BMI and the Weight Watchers thing.
So go you and your BMI charts. Though I’m doing OK with it I still kind of hate it so I hope you find a groove and don’t hate it. So far it looks like you’re doing all the right things.
Oh honey that’s just terrible. (I like saying “oh honey” it makes me feel comforting and mom like, I hope that’s ok with you).
The only explaination I can offer is that these mean people probably weigh more than that. I know I do. I mean, hell, I’ll come right out and say it, I weigh 178. And probably to some people, even if they are ok with themselves, well, they probably felt a little insecure when you said you wanted to lose because you weren’t comfortable. It’s not to say that they were right at all for lashing out at you. Besides, it seems almost commonplace for people to lash out in random stranger’s blogs, as if the annonymnity of it all makes it ok.
Don’t get me wrong, I love blogging and I love my commentators and I’m always open for a lively discussion of how I could be wrong, but when someone is trying to accomplish something that is really just going to make them healthier and feel more comfortable with themselves; I find it difficult to see where they could even begin to find fault in that. My only thought is really that people really have a big tendency to project. That and they don’t think before they speak.
Good luck with everything… try to post some of those evil emails, it’s excellent therapy I think… ;)
Seriously not cool. But, I find that people will tell you their opinion on the internet whenever they want to.
My only thoughts are “screw them.” Your first post inspired me to eat better this past week and the second (along with some talks with my female friends here) have inspired me to go back to the gym after a long hiatus.
:)
Oh F ‘em. People love to focus on others (ESPECIALLY on the ‘Net) so they don’t have to focus on their own crap. I say GOOD FOR YOU and kudos for sharing such a taboo topic like weight loss gasp and being confident enough to do such a freeing thing like post your weight. I’ve been thin and heavy. No matter what weight you are, people still find something wrong. If you’re on the thinner side and just want to be healthy, people bitch about that. If you’re heavy and want to lose weight, people find fault with the way you are doing things on that side. WHATEVER. I say, GO GIRL! (Ignore the other bitter haters).
Those people are A-holes. Yeah you know who you are. Look in the mirror A-hole. You like what you see? Then change it.
Michele, you could say you dye your hair or love Foie Gras (mmmmm) or perhaps are considering painting your apartment and someone is going to jump all over your shit. Just a fact of life, people are A-holes. I just like saying that word A-hole. Thanks for giving me an opportunity to do so. Oh and after I have stinko (what grace calls baby #2 in utero) I am all over the “slim in 6” program. Check it out.
More power to you. I am taking on the pounds you are losing.
How odd! When I was reading the comments on that entry, I don’t really recall any angry ones. I just remember a lot of supportive ones. Maybe I just tuned out the pissy ones. I tend to do that.
;-)
Long time reader, first time commenter. . .but this hit home.
I encountered similar, in person, animosity when I joined Weight Watchers 2 years ago. I was 163 (5’4-1/2”) and wanted to get down to about 145 or so. When I hit my goal weight and acheived WW lifetime status, I was met with some eye rolls from several women in the room. One who was particularly bitchy came up to me afterwords and said this “I wish I’d caught myself when I only needed to lose 15 lbs”. . .what I’m trying to say is that those who seem hateful are probably just angry b/c they let themselves go to far before realizing that they needed to lose weight.
Cheers to you and your desire to be a healthy BMI:).
Beth, wow. That is crazy. You join a group for support not for someone to tear you down. You are right, people get angry at themselves and transfer that anger and frustration to others. Psych 101 I guess. Just sad that people don’t recognize it for what it is and feel it necessary to try to make others feel as crappy as they feel.
Becky, the negative things were emailed to me. The comments were generally pretty awesome. And over all, for the most part, the feedback was really great.
Yeah, beth, that sucks. But I hate to say it, I’m not all that surprised. Women can be so mean to other women. And I need to say, CONGRATULATIONS on your having reached your goal weight. I bet you look amazing and I bet it made you feel incredible. So, screw the nay-sayer. Bask in the fact that you succeeded.
On one hand I am really surprised that people can come out with such hateful things when all you are trying to do is something for yourself. It is not like you are out there trying to flaunt how little you need to lose to get to where you feel comfortable. It is just something you gotta do to get back to feeling your like yourself especially after having a baby.
On the other hand knowing how people are on the internet I am not surprised. It sucks. Stupid people.
i found your site (via dooce) when you posted that entry and i was very impressed by your bravery and honesty to post so very publicly a struggle that most (perhaps all?) women fight very privately. i too had my share of ups and downs in the weight department some years back, and i also just had a baby in august and am struggling to deal with a body that no longer looks and feels like it did a year ago. so, kudos to you for sharing your weighty thoughts, and good luck getting to where you want your body to be.
Wow.
I’m sorry you got nasty emails. Everyone has to decide what feels best for them and their body. It’s like parenting—every family is different.
I really recommend the book Eat To Live by Joel Furhman—it’s one of the sanest books on nutrition I’ve ever read and it really changed my life.
Take care! I love your blog.
Honestly, I’ve stopped talking to anyone except my husband about my weight-loss efforts. It’s so tiring to hear people tell me I don’t need to lose weight. Earlier this year, I was 30 pounds heavier than I had been before I started having kids. And maybe where I ended up is where others are hoping to be someday. But I feel comfortable weighing less. So you find what feels good to you and go for it. And if it helps to post it online, do that, too. Just delete the e-mails with hateful subject lines. Good luck.
I’m the same height as you, and before this pregnancy had settled at between 140-145, which isn’t super skinny, but I was happy with it. I regulate it with regular jogging and workouts, occasional Slim Fast breakfasts, cutting out mayo – just little stuff, but it keeps me steady. We’ll see how pregnancy and motherhood changes things – I know it will!
So here’s my point. Sometimes when I strap on my shoes to run, or decline mayo on my sandwich, or have a Slim Fast for breakfast, my girlfriends get MAD at me! OMG girl, you are so beautiful how you are, why are you trying to lose weight? Or, If you put on those shoes and go for a run you are NOT coming out to dinner with us. Stuff like that. And I’m like, girlfriends of mine – why can’t you support me? This is hard enough as it is, why do you have to make it harder?