For the first week of Emory’s life he slept in the crib in his bedroom. It’s a nice crib. We purchased an expensive organic mattress and some breathable bumpers to go with it. I put him down at night, turned on the baby monitor, and we’d settle in as well.
And then something happened. And that something is called the Pack ‘N Play.
A week after we brought Emory home, my mother had the awesome idea of putting together the Pack ‘N Play so we could have an uninterrupted meal with Emory nearby. TobyJoe put it together, including the top bassinet for smaller creatures. That was the end of Emory sleeping in his crib.
Emory has been sleeping in the Pack ‘N Play ever since, a wheeled piece of furniture we like to call “The Baby Mobile”. And for 11 weeks it has been stationed not inches away from my head at night. (The picture below was taken right after he was born.)
I never let him spend too much time in The Baby Mobile during the day because I have this theory (based on no scientific evidence whatsoever) that if I save sleep routines for sleep, my baby will “get it” whenever it comes time to do just that. For example, we never swaddled him unless he was going to bed at night. And we never put him in The Baby Mobile for very long during the day.
Emory weighed 12 pounds, 3 ounces at his last pediatric appointment. It was at that point I realized that we were running out of time. You see, The Baby Mobile’s top bassinet feature has a cap of 15 pounds. And at the rate Emory’s growing, I know we are quickly approaching the day he’ll outgrow the bassinet. So we decided to make the transition now. What I didn’t know was how hard it was going to be for me to let him go.
On Monday night Emory returned to his crib. Which means I no longer get to listen to his farts live. Instead, they are broadcast over a small speaker that dangles next to my head. And that’s so sad, amplified farts. No one should have to live this way.
He’s been OK about it. I usually have to rock him to sleep. (That happened only rarely before.) And putting him down doesn’t usually take the first time. And he doesn’t yet sleep through the night. (He was closer to doing that whenever he slept in The Baby Mobile. I think I threw him off with this whole crib switch.) But I can deal with that. I’m OK with getting up at night. The thing is, ever since he moved out of The Baby Mobile and into the crib I’ve been having pretty horrible nightmares. And I wake up in a cold sweat. If you’d call it “waking up” at all because I’m convinced I never actually fall to sleep anymore, which is probably why I now remember all of my dreams and nightmares.
But my question isn’t about the nightmares or how to make him sleep through the night. My question is if I’m suffering from separation anxiety and he’s only in the next room how the hell am I going to deal with being away from him for a whole 24-hours when we attend The Barbarian Group Christmas party in Boston this year and he stays with my mother? And what will happen whenever he goes off to preschool or kindergarten? And, oh my god, college? This is why people have more kids, isn’t it.
What am I going to do when he grows up?
Our sleeping arrangement plans for Maggie have gone to hell because I can’t stand her being too far away at night. I’m trying to start a more healthy nighttime routine for her, but the problem is not HER it’s her crazy mother. If I could sleep with her strapped to me, I probably would.
Sigh.
Ohhh, I usually think the little guy looks just like your husband, but I totally see you in that last picture! He is such a sweet baby! :)
BRING HIM TO BOSTON!
Michele,
it gets better and easier. there comes a time when you will want to touch your husband with out skeeving, when that happens you can not really have Emory in the room. Kind of need to separate being a mom from being a woman. At least that is what I needed to do. I also could not fall asleep when grace was in the same room because I though every little sound was an issue. I was better when she was in the next room. Even now, when we are traveling, I can not sleep when we are in the same room. I have not figured out the boston thing. Perhaps your mom should stay here in west orange with both kids!
I agree with Rachel, it DOES get better and easier. Trust me, when he gets a little older, you will want to get rid of him as often as possible, haha. He’s still in the cute baby stage where you can’t bring your self to let him out of your sight..BUT mark my words, when he gets older, and he’s going through that annoying, defiant, never stop talking, never leave you alone stage, it will be way easier to let him go to Grandmas for the night. You will beg for the break, just to get some time for yourself….just to have a moment to think, to enjoy 5 minutes of pure silence…..This is what I’m going through now…
Oh by the way HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
I just left Cooper for the first time. I went to Vegas with a friend of mine (it was a press trip and she got to bring a guest, so we were wined and dined and paid for nothing the entire time). The trip was a Thurs to a Sunday and we visited two different spa resorts. Everyone said I’d come back feeling rejuvenated and refreshed. I knew it was dumb not to go – since this was a free trip with total VIP treatment!! But I didn’t come home feeling refreshed. I missed Cooper (and Matthew) a lot, and I swear he looked different already when I came back! I felt like I missed so much. I don’t think I was 100% ready to leave him at 9 months old. For me it hasn’t gotten easier yet.
I just moved my 2 1/2 month old to his crib in his own room 2 months ago. I am having so much anxiety over it that I cannot fall asleep at night. He is the one who is calmy sleeping. The first night in his crib he slept for 8 hours! I need to get a grip!
I know. Every new change requires more adjustment by us than it does the little ones. I am glad that you like routine though, it is a good thing for your babe, having routines and good job for Emory on those 12 pounds, he is chubby and cute!
I never had conscious feelings of separation, but I have had regular insomnia since we had Charlotte, in 2004. eek. I have never been able to articulate why. What is sort of funny is that since she is in a “big girl” bed, i sneak into her room to sleep with her regularly. She was in a crib from day one. Her bed is comfortable, she doesn’t snore, and tonight she stroked my cheek and said i love you mommy about 5 times. I mean SHEESH! When I sleep with the husband at the cat I get no love affirmations at midnight. :-) I know there are different schools of thoughts about co-sleeping or whatever, but you should do what feels right for you.
He really is incredibly cute.
Now you may understand how I felt in San Francisco.
Noah was 3 years old then. A much needed and wonderful break started wearing on me after several days. I’d like to say it gets easier but I’m not so sure. I loved picking Noah up from school. He stands there with that big “I missed you mommy” smile on his face, waving like crazy as if it’s been a week since he’s seen me. Now, he goes to after school and his daddy picks him up and I don’t get to catch him as he jumps in my arms until 7 pm. :( They grow and things change so so fast. Cherish every drop of drool and every sweet little cooo.
I still have my baby in her bassinet even though she is outgrowing it. I hate the idea of her not being right next to me. At some point I will have to move her to the crib. As it is she shakes the whole bassinet when she kicks.