Murray really enjoys it when people (and cats) use the bathroom. Whenever Tucker or Pookum have to use the bathroom, he stands outside the litter box and stares directly at them. If it’s Tucker (who is a little more forgiving than Pookum) Murray will occasionally climb inside to get a better look, rate the turd, whatever. Pookum hates it. So whenever she goes to the bathroom I have to grab a hold of Murray so he doesn’t interrupt her. One time, Pookum jumped out mid-turd because he was watching her.

He follows us into the bathroom as well. I’m not sure why he’s so fascinated with bathroom stuff. He came that way. But he keeps me company whenever I pee. I’m huge right now and not at all very limber. So when I use the toilet, I let my trousers fall down all the way down until they hit the floor. A lot of the time he’ll curl up in between my legs right in the circle of my waistband; it makes for a perfect kitten holder. One time, he looked so comfortable I decided to sit there for a little while longer so he could get a full snug in. It wasn’t hard to accommodate. I mentioned a while ago that camping out on the toilet brings me great comfort regardless of its potential hemorrhoid hazard.

With Toby, well, that routine is a wee bit different. Tobyjoe pees standing up. He lifts the toilet seat before he conducts any business. And Murray joins him as well. But things move whenever Tobyjoe pees, so Murray doesn’t curl up in his trousers or watch from below. Instead, he likes to stand next to the toilet rim and watch the arc of urine fall gracefully into the bowl. And I think he probably enjoys the way it sounds as well.

The other day I was sleeping and Tobyjoe came into the bedroom and said, “You want to hear a funny Murray story?”

I always want to hear a funny Murray story. Although, Murray is funny without a story. (He most definitely lives up to his namesake of Bill. Although, we’ve been calling Murray other names as of late. He’s become Myrtle for some reason.)

“Sure.” I said.

“I was peeing and he came in and usually he watches me pee with his front two paws on the toilet rim. He jumped up this time and nearly fell in. And part of his body got in the way.”

“Are you telling me you peed on the cat?”

“And then he took his paw and began playing with it!”

“Why didn’t you stop!”

“Men can’t really do that.”

“So you peed on the cat?!“

“Yeah. But only a little bit.”