One of my top search referrals is Ashton Kucher. Which is funny, because I think (though I haven’t checked) my site ranks in at around 4,132 on Google when searching for Mr. Kucher. Which means one thing, said link-seekers are pretty desperate for information on this mother fucker. After said person clicks on the link Google spits at them, they end up on a comments page from way back when Toby wrote something about him. And some leave comments. And a few have the tone of a highschool girl in heat. The latest comment emailed to me today was:
comment from ashtonfan101:
ASHTON IS SSSOOO HOT ALL THE GIRLS IN MY CLASS ARE OBSESSED AND IM ONE!!!!!!! HE IS HOTTER THAN CRAZY!!!!!!!
Scary.
How hot is crazy, anyway?
I wondered the same thing.
it’s like SO crazy hot! ya know?
Ashtonfan101: Sell crazy somewhere else. We’re all stocked up here.
Looks like your comments made it to the first results page coming in at #10!! Now you just have to find a way to turn those hits into glorious ad revenue!!!
(of course, you’re nowhere in sight if you spell Kutcher right… hehe)
oh great. So not only do I get all the highschool girls finding my site by searching for this dude, but they’re all morons too? Half-assed Ashton Lovers who can’t even SPELL HIS FUCKING NAME CORRECTLY?!
indEEd
granted, it’s toby’s fault, ultimately. as he’s the one who fucked up to begin with.
::shakes fist at TobyJoe::
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dude
Don’t forget anal bondage spunk punk’d. If I had the energy I’d come up with an obscene ashton haiku.
dude
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dude, sex fart?
nude sex fart?
I’m doomed.