January 28th, 2009
So we’re in the new place, right? And things are great. It’s really nice and I’m hosting playdates and getting the hang of things. Life’s pretty great, right?
And then this morning on our way home from the gym we’re stopped by two building inspectors who ask us if we live here and if they can come take a look. Now, I’m not sure what I would have done had Toby not been with me. Would I have let them in? Would I have panicked and just started running? Would I have broken into song?
I am not sure what I would have done. But Toby was with me and so it’s all moot.
We didn’t let them in. Instead we stood there like buffoons—lying buffoons, as they informed us that it’s illegal to be living in the building. And then I said, “I have to go move the car.” Even though same-side parking rules are suspended today and they know this because they work for the city. And I said it even though we clearly had just returned from someplace and were clearly entering the building to return home.
But I’m sure they’re used to this type of nonsense since there are thousands of people living in illegal lofts and commercial spaces all over New York City.
They’re used to lying buffoons.
But the part that sucks is that I had no idea up until this morning that we were living here illegally. I don’t mind lying if I know I may have to. But lying on demand? Impossible!
Apparently things are going to be OK. I’m not holding my breath, but I’m also not going to freak out. Surely this will end well. It must. But then I’m reminded of all the those times my car failed inspection—my perfectly (relatively speaking) decent car—and not a block out of NYS Inspection Station I’d see some rusted out, wheelless vehicle being driven 95 miles per hour on the BQE with a plume of smoke shooting out of its windows and exhaust pipe.
And I’d rant like a champ about it—the injustice!
There’s NO WAY this building is going to fail, right? I mean, given what I’ve seen people live in, given where we’ve lived in the past, there’s just no way.
But rules are rules.
I like living in New York. Most days. Most days I think about how much I’ll miss should we ever really need to leave town, but today is not one of those days. Couple those douchebags and their fake badges with the “wintery mix” we were blasted with last night, and I am tapping my heels together, muttering, “There’s no place called home. There’s no place called home.”
And I thought that posting this might be a dumb idea, because, well, we’re apparently outlaws, but the city knows what’s up. So who am I trying to hide this from?
God?
I think not.
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January 2nd, 2009
This post has been a long time coming. It’s been so long, and so much has happened, I am not even sure what the Internet knows, thinks or wants to know (if anything) anymore. But for the sake of history, I feel that this needs to be written.
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January 2nd, 2009
Taken last night as the sun was setting on 2008.

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December 8th, 2008
This week is likely to turn into the most insane week ever. We’re scheduled to move in seven days. (I have been working on a post for a while regarding the move, but can’t seem to find the time to finish it. In a nutshell, we’re staying in Brooklyn but moving to a less contaminated, easier to use 2 bedroom, two bathroom apartment. It’s a long, long story. I will share it soon.) Toby’s birthday is Thursday and I have not one, but TWO freelance projects to finish up this week. Oh, I’m also a full-time mom, one who has yet to find a local babysitter.
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September 19th, 2008
After the week we’ve had here in America, I think the flier I saw last week may need to be updated.
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August 27th, 2008
I wrote to HGTV on Friday night. Can you believe that? I am desperate. We were watching House Hunters. I turned to Tobyjoe and said, “Call them and tell them to find us a house.”
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July 3rd, 2008
There’s a digital clock at the top of our stove. Each number is made up of digital sausage links. They’re curveless and rigid but they do the job. Twos look like backwards fives, threes like eights without Western borders.
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April 9th, 2008
Our bid was accepted. We were to enter attorney review today. Another offer came through 15 grand higher. We were given the option of meeting that offer and have declined. (We simply cannot afford to pay any more). We are back at square one. We don’t have a place to live come July. I wish I could say I was disappointed, but I’m not. I’m actually a little angry and anger isn’t an emotion I’m accustomed to. Not sure what to say. Think we might find another place to rent if something doesn’t happen soon.
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April 7th, 2008
We didn’t get the house we put an offer on. And even after we said we’re not the bargaining type (meaning, we’ll never accept a counter, that the amount we offer upfront is the amount we’re comfortable with) the sellers came back with a counter. And the counter was more than our real estate agent said they’d settle for. I’m thinking one of two things took place: either they are really that arrogant and/or stupid, or they got an offer closer to what they’d settle for and figured they’d have nothing to lose asking us to go higher. Nevertheless, we feel we offered them a fair price and have said no to their counter.
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April 4th, 2008
Let me begin by saying I have had too much coffee this morning. Couple that with the Sudafed and I’m completely out of my mind on speed.
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