January 29th, 2011
It’s my birthday. I’m 37. I just baked myself a cake, ate a huge piece and now I feel like throwing up (again). Why do I keep doing this?
Anyway, we’re not doing much. I was unable to move from 4 PM yesterday until noon today. I even missed pastry class, something I never do. I’ve just felt so nauseous.
So, today I’m gonna stay put and hope for less greener moments. This week feels like the first trimester all over again, only it’s worse because I’m also uncomfortably huge.
That damn cake. What was I thinking?
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January 26th, 2011
I visited my doctor today. I’m 50% effaced and 1 centimeter dilated. (Damn that exam hurts.) Kid is still very much floating up in my abdomen, which I hear is normal for second pregnancies. But I have no idea why that would be. How does this guy know that he’s the second kid? Why would a woman’s body keep a second pregnancy higher? Why would a woman’s body know to? This doesn’t make sense to me. But pregnancy doesn’t really make much sense to me, so there’s that.
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January 19th, 2011
Today’s therapy session went well. Although, I really have no idea what “well” means when it comes to therapy. Basically, she got to know me better. We discussed the way I felt after Emory was born. We discussed the miscarriage and how that experience changed me. We discussed infertility. We discussed how I feel about introducing another person to Emory, how I feel about having another child at all. Everything went smoothly, as expected. But at the very end of our session she said something that has me thinking long and hard.
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January 18th, 2011
Ladies, the days leading up to when you went into labor, how did you feel? Were there any signs—big or small? I never went into labor with Em. I was induced due to high blood pressure. So, I am not really super sure what pre-labor (is there such a thing?) feels like. I have a pretty good idea what full-on contractions feel like, but not much more than that. And I’m curious.
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January 14th, 2011
As of yesterday I entered the final month of my pregnancy. I’ve been hesitant to complain about being pregnant. After a loss, and then some infertility, I feel ashamed complaining. But, oh my goodness, am I ever ready to have this baby!
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