Ain't Got A Home.

posted by mihow on April 7th, 2008

We didn’t get the house we put an offer on. And even after we said we’re not the bargaining type (meaning, we’ll never accept a counter, that the amount we offer upfront is the amount we’re comfortable with) the sellers came back with a counter. And the counter was more than our real estate agent said they’d settle for. I’m thinking one of two things took place: either they are really that arrogant and/or stupid, or they got an offer closer to what they’d settle for and figured they’d have nothing to lose asking us to go higher. Nevertheless, we feel we offered them a fair price and have said no to their counter.

OK, so, this whole house buying thing is and has been an emotional roller coaster. They now HAVE accepted our offer. We’re going into attorney review tomorrow. I’m not going to get my hopes up — I made that mistake last time — but it looks like we may become homeowners soon. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

On Sunday Tobyjoe and I did something neither one of us would have agreed to a year ago. We went to a couple of open houses for the condos going up all over Greenpoint and Williamsburg. (Remember this?) I’m not sure why, really, anything we need (size) is too expensive. Most of them looked exactly how you’d imagine, which is to say trendy and cookie-cutter. But there was this one…

I actually really liked one of them. I even pictured myself living there. Granted, we’d have to sell the baby in order to afford it, which seems silly since one of the reasons we like it is because it happens to be in one of the best public school districts. It also has an elevator that delivers its occupants directly into their apartment. Do you have any idea how appealing that is to me right now? After spending 8 months lugging a baby, a diaper bag, and whatever other baby things I need up three flights of stair just to take my son outside? Orgasmic!

They also had balconies, an added bonus for those of us who haven’t had access to an outside space since college.

I don’t know what to say. I’m deflated. I’m sick of driving around each and every weekend to look at overpriced, sometimes rundown properties with annual taxes of ten thousand dollars plus. Factor in crime statistics, resale value, size of lot, garage space (or lack thereof), driveway space, walking distance to anything (we would rather not depend on a car), public school rating, oil tank burials, commute time (and price), and you’re left wondering why any member of the middle class chooses to buy a place at all.

One of the places we looked at (and it wasn’t cheap) is three blocks from the apartment complex that housed one of the shooters from this heinous murder. Yes, that’s in Newark. The murder took place there as well. No, we weren’t looking to move to Newark. Yes, one of the neighborhoods we’re looking at borders one of the most dangerous places in America. I am left thinking that denial must play a huge role in how some folks agree to buy what they buy.

And I’m thinking that choosing to read this book right now was a bad idea. (Anyone commuting to NYC from Southern Virginia?)

Should we continue to rent? Am I just having a bad week? I am still sick, 8 days and counting. Do I sound like a broken record?

Do I sound like a broken record?

19 Responses to “Ain't Got A Home.”

  1. Eva Says:
    April 7th, 2008 at 02:23 PM

    You sound like you deserve a good break and a good place to live.

  2. Michele Chaves Says:
    April 7th, 2008 at 02:41 PM

    I know it is so frustrating to be in the housing market in a big city. It is insane that responsible, hard working people who make a decent living can’t afford decent housing. Big reason why we moved back to Phoenix—we got so much more house for the money in a great, central Phoenix neighborhood.

    Don’t rule out the condo—it may just be your first step. It’ll all work out ultimately. Don’t give up!

  3. mihow Says:
    April 7th, 2008 at 02:48 PM

    Michele: THAT’S the frustrating thing: we make good money and we’re decent people. (We take care of our things and we are nice to our neighbors, we even care about where we live). It’s unbelievably frustrating that we can’t really afford to live here. Even the prices we have agreed to leave us tapped out. (In other words, if we get the places we are putting offers on, we can’t afford things like gym memberships, yoga or vacations. Hell, we can barely afford decent food!)

    I don’t get it. We also just found out that our landlord, the same people who refused to pay for a decent plumber paid 1.3 million for their home right outside the city.

    I’m bitter today, resentful, pissed off. I really need to just realize that my life is pretty damn good and shut the f*ck up already.

    Yes, my life is really good. It really is. I know this.

    I just wish we could find a safe place to live for a fair amount of cash. :] Safe is key.

  4. Sarah L Says:
    April 7th, 2008 at 03:05 PM

    For what it’s worth, I have been through this three times now…and the last time I was freaking out b/c I thought we would be homeless in a month and I had a newborn. bla! BUT, hindsight—being what it is. Looking back I would say, if I could have pulled myself together to stop panicking…I would have found something to rent whie I kept looking for what we really wanted. Rushing into something like this can bite you in the ass. You might not end up liking it, get stuck in something you can’t sell,etc. It is worth waiting, even if it is inconvenient, to find what you really want and can afford. End of rant. Although, I am not sure I would have listened to someone telling me that…

  5. heathercoo Says:
    April 7th, 2008 at 03:06 PM

    I’m currently having a similar issue with trying to find somewhere to live. Granted I don’t have the property tax issue but the finding somewhere safe issue is at the top.

    You have every right to have a bad day and vent about it. It can be very frustrating and I cry about it often, wishing it wasn’t so hard and expensive to just find somewhere good to live.

    I really hope it does get better for you guys. Maybe if you can handle renting a little longer on a month by month basis that would be better for your stress level? I’m not sure if that is even an option for you but if it is I would try to do that.

    Good luck :)

  6. egirl Says:
    April 7th, 2008 at 03:38 PM

    It will happen. It will happen. It will happen. Sometimes you just gotta wait and waiting stinks.

    Continue to look although it may be exhausting. Make sure your realtor knows what you want to see and what is not even worth showing you. While they technically aren’t paid by you, they are working for you. If they keep showing you dumps then they are not doing their homework ahead of time and they are wasting their time and yours.

    Start thinking about month to month options on renting… think about renting where you would want to move. NJ? This would get your husband used to the commute, you used to the neighborhood and would give you additional opportunity to see if that is really where you want to commit to purchasing a house. Or consider somewhere further north. Metro North goes fairly far up and the further north you go, the more land and more reasonable the prices.

    And keep reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. I loved that book!

  7. mihow Says:
    April 7th, 2008 at 03:44 PM

    We were toying with Beacon but then read that the public schools up that way are pretty bad. I know this is said to be changing, but does it change quick enough? If there’s one part of this we’re not willing to cave on it’s anything having to do with Emory’s safety and/or education. You know what I mean?

    I think maybe we’re too idyllic. We have seen some great places they are just out of our price range. (We could do it, but we’d be strapped for cash and we worry that would put us in the same position many people are in right now and foreclosing.)

    I think we’re too idyllic and we need to get rid of a few desires. I think the first thing that will go is size. And I guess we’ll just have to rely on a car as much as I hate the idea.

  8. mihow Says:
    April 7th, 2008 at 03:47 PM

    Oh, and I guess Murray doesn’t need his own room.

  9. egirl Says:
    April 7th, 2008 at 04:14 PM

    Also, another thing to think about is whether in 5-6 years you might consider moving again… this would allow you the chance to be in a starter home now (not as big, but nice enough), in perhaps not a top-notch school district (but lower taxes for those 5-6 years!) while Emory is too young to be in school. Then when he is old enough to be in school, you may have returned to work and have a combined higher income to afford a bigger place in the school district you are looking for.

  10. Catherine Says:
    April 7th, 2008 at 05:47 PM

    I’m sorry to hear that things suck right now, Michele. I live in tiny and boring Ocala, Fl. I’ve also lived in Gainesville and Tallahassee. All three are great – dirt cheap, safe, good health care. And I’m not sure about TJ’s job, but is NYC necessary? Maybe upstate or even the ‘burbs? Just ideas… thinking of you and your sweet family.

    Catherine

  11. egirl Says:
    April 7th, 2008 at 09:02 PM

    Just saw your update! Whohooo! But you are right… don’t get your hopes up yet (but you can smile a little more- it won’t hurt.) Glad you waited out the mooches. Way to play hardball!

  12. misha Says:
    April 8th, 2008 at 02:21 AM

    i think the starter home idea is a great one and if you settle for a lesser neighborhood, you could save $ for private school and perhaps have a good investment on your home once the hood becomes nicer. But I dont have a child so I know I am missing a vital part of the equation.

  13. rachel Says:
    April 8th, 2008 at 04:26 AM

    michele I think you do not have to compromise on space but resign yourself to the fact that you will need a car. As long as the jitney runs close to you house or it is bikable you should be good to go. We are 5 minutes from SO and Maplewood as well as Montclair. Do not give up. The house next door is for rent or you can just move in with us.

  14. CC Says:
    April 8th, 2008 at 06:56 AM

    I can tell you from experience that house hunting, buying, selling and moving really really really sucks.

    I’ve bought two houses so far in my life. The first was a new build flat in a dodgy area that wasn’t too bad, and the second is a 1930s house in a really nice area, but nothing in the house works.

    You have to toss a coin. You cannot hit all of your expectations. And you have to remember to breath and at least try to enjoy the experience.

    Well, take that advice from one who almost murdered her real estate lawyer…

  15. amy @ minimally invasive Says:
    April 8th, 2008 at 10:08 AM

    Reading your updates, I can honestly say I’ve never been so happy to live in a home I don’t plan to leave for a long, long time. I moved out of the city a little over two years ago to Ringwood, NJ, a nice area with lots of hiking trails, lakes, and state parks, and best of all, it’s within commuting distance of NY! So really, I get the best of both worlds now. Rachel’s right, though—a car is a necessity once you move away.

    Best of luck with the house hunting.

  16. Nicole Says:
    April 8th, 2008 at 11:43 AM

    Great news! Good luck with everything, I hope it works out for you!

  17. keith Says:
    April 9th, 2008 at 01:18 AM

    The day we found our house wemade a joke on the way over: “Do you think it’ll be like a bomb went off inside?” And we laughed, because we SO wanted it to be true. Also, because there was no way we thought we’d ever find somplace we could afford that we liked. Thankfuly, the answer to that insane question was yes, and we managed to get a lowball offer through. Of course, this was after about a year and a half of open house hunting. And yeah, we’ve cut down on a lot of dining out (the one true money killer for us), nice long vacations (probably #2), pocket change for spending money, etc…

    I really hope you guys get a place you love.

    And, if it takes a little longer, and you don’t mind that there are electrical wires sticking out of holes in the walls, you’re totally welcome to stay with us for a little while.

  18. Lillet Says:
    April 10th, 2008 at 02:31 PM

    I would wait a little longer until you find the house you can really afford and love. I would really really advise against buying ANY W-Burg new condos that have gone up in the last 3 years. I used to work in construction and I can tell you that they are realy, really REALLY poorly made, and who knows what kind of equity they will be.

    I have friends who just bought in Ossining and they love it.

    Good luck Michele!! It’s going to be okay!!!

  19. mihow Says:
    April 10th, 2008 at 02:42 PM

    Yeah, well, I do hear ya. seems that way since they went up so damned fast. But to be honest, even if we REALLY wanted to live in one, they are actually too pricey for us. :] So, rest assured, there will be no buying any condos around here!

    But you made me feel better knowing we can’t afford ‘em. heh

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