April 11th, 2008
Some parents get really upset when people refer to their baby using the wrong pronoun. Some parents go to great lengths to avoid having their baby girl be mistaken for a boy. They dress them head-to-toe in pink, stuff them into frilly dresses, wrangle bows onto the three or four strands of hair on top of their daughter’s otherwise bald head. I mean, who doesn’t appreciate a perfectly adorned coconut?
But this doesn’t only happen to baby girls.
Emory gets referred to as a girl all the time. Pretty much every time we’re out in public someone will say, “What’s your daughter’s name?” And Toby and I laugh because the answer doesn’t do much to correct them. Emory has become such an androgynous name. We joke about new ways of answering the question, like delivering his name with a resounding tenor-like “EMORY!”
Had we known we were going to have such a “pretty” boy, we’d have named him Maximus, Bob, or Texas.
I’ll be perfectly honest, it doesn’t bother me at all that people think Emory is a girl. He does have long eyelashes, big blue eyes, and, shit y’all, he’s a freaking baby. I think we can forgive people for messing that one up. What does bother me, however, is the reaction we get from people if we’re forced to correct them. (Sometimes, we don’t correct people especially if they’re passing strangers whom we’ll never see again.) They act mortified, apologetic, like they called him a sissy on the playground. We reassure them, “It’s OK. He’s just a baby. He doesn’t know.”
Perhaps I should dress him in military garb or stuff his diaper with a sock.
Maybe we should buy him a Hummer.
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April 11th, 2008
Did you know that my brother moved to China? It’s true. He lives in Beijing. He used to work on Wall Street. (Remember this?) Now he’s learning Chinese. (Mandarin, I think.)
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April 9th, 2008
Our bid was accepted. We were to enter attorney review today. Another offer came through 15 grand higher. We were given the option of meeting that offer and have declined. (We simply cannot afford to pay any more). We are back at square one. We don’t have a place to live come July. I wish I could say I was disappointed, but I’m not. I’m actually a little angry and anger isn’t an emotion I’m accustomed to. Not sure what to say. Think we might find another place to rent if something doesn’t happen soon.
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April 9th, 2008
Emory started crawling yesterday. He crawls while on the rug but the wooden floor is still designated for commando baby. But that’s OK because commando baby makes me laugh. I’m not ready to say goodbye to commando baby yet. I had to say goodbye to fake coughing baby, drunk babbling old man baby, and shrieking at the sight of kitties baby. I want to keep commando baby around for a while longer.
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April 8th, 2008
This post is dedicated to Jen and Mike who had to say goodbye to someone very special last week.
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April 7th, 2008
We didn’t get the house we put an offer on. And even after we said we’re not the bargaining type (meaning, we’ll never accept a counter, that the amount we offer upfront is the amount we’re comfortable with) the sellers came back with a counter. And the counter was more than our real estate agent said they’d settle for. I’m thinking one of two things took place: either they are really that arrogant and/or stupid, or they got an offer closer to what they’d settle for and figured they’d have nothing to lose asking us to go higher. Nevertheless, we feel we offered them a fair price and have said no to their counter.
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April 4th, 2008
Let me begin by saying I have had too much coffee this morning. Couple that with the Sudafed and I’m completely out of my mind on speed.
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April 3rd, 2008
The last time I had a strange sensation about a day, two planes flew into the World Trade Center. The thing about that was I never said it out loud and so I wasn’t sure if I thought I had the sensation ahead of time or if I decided I had the sensation ahead of time after the fact. I’m not sure if that makes any sense.
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April 1st, 2008
If somebody from Animal Planet contacted you about taking part in a reality TV show about pet weight-loss (Biggest Loser for pets) would you consider it? Murray’s so fat! Speaking of Murray…
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