I’m a mother of 4. My first borns are a pair of twin sons, second a daughter and last June I gave birth to a lovely son. All my children were born through C-sect.

I have always wanted to breastfeed. However, I couldn’t because of my inverted nipples. This is made worse that each of my nipples has only ONE hole. So all my babies could never get enough milk from my breasts. I am also suffering from Polycyctic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) which results in me having a chronic low milk supply. The first two rounds, I formula fed my babies and kept on trying to latch them on to my breast. But couldn’t. I had a lot of heartbreak trying that.

This time around, I made the decision to pump and feed my baby by bottle. Thanks to my Medela Pump-in-style. However, what I pump is not enough for his daily need. So, I supplement with formula. I’m a more contented mother now.

I agree with you wholeheartedly that whatever decision we make to feed our baby, what is important is WE FEED them. It’s nobody’s business to say what we do is wrong. Thanks for sharing your experience.

Motherhood is such a competitive thing. Sad to say, but true. I wish we could just ignore what everyone else does and says and be confident with the way we parent, but it is so hard.

I admire you for exclusively pumping. I have done that for a week at a time, and I hate every single minute I am pumping. I just can’t do it. And I couldn’t stick with it either.

Your post made me think of this one –
http://www.superherodesigns.com/journal/archives/001143.html

so, yeah, it did get easier. I almost gave up a hundred times before now. But at this point, I think I can do this for several more months. We’ll see how it goes. I don’t want to say that, fail and then feel bad again. :]

You said it! Motherhood is so competitive. It’s strange. I find that I sometimes start feeling that way and suddenly back up to ask myself why I care. It’s none of my business. :]

We (those who gave you advice and traded stories) have the luxury of hindsight. I was a loon when I first had Grace – Boobs hanging out, is she getting enough to eat, sleeping in 2-3 hour blocks. I am sure we all were. Then just like you, we all had our epiphany and then it did not matter.

I love your friendship and your honesty and Kelly. You have safely made it to the other side. Start throwing your opinions around!

By the way, I used to sit and watch Grace in the crib with that mobile and just cry. I was so in awe and in love and hormonal.

Amen.

ETC!

xo

In all seriousness I can’t imagine why someone would give you grief over your child nourishment decisions. You’re a smart woman, and have put far more thought and effort into what you’re doing than any armchair lactation enthusiast (not to mention being 10x smarter to start with). Your baby is healthy getting all the nutrition he needs when he needs it, and his parents are going out of their way to support him.

If I were you, the only different thing I’d do is this: when someone asks me about breastfeeding/formula habits, I’d respond “Are you fucking kidding me? That’s so none of your business.”

I’ve never commented before, but this one has got me typing. Sit down everyone. I did not breast feed. Why? For numerous reasons that remain personal to me. I have never once however, had anything but a negative response or reaction when this is the topic discussed with other mothers. On a good day, I could care less. But we (mothers) do not always have good days. So on a bad day, I am left feeling inadequate. I have learned to no longer take part in these discussions.
My son will be four in October. The last time I checked he doesn’t appear to be sprouting an extra foot or walking into walls. He is healthy. Very. And always has been.
So please, spare me the negative thoughts.

I’m crying as I write this. I commented last week to let you know that our experiences are so similar, and after reading this, I’m convinced! I am exclusively pumping as well. After 3 weeks of spending an hour and a half at each feeding trying to breastfeed, giving my baby a bottle, then pumping, I was so exhausted that I realized I wasn’t enjoying my baby. I dreaded each feeding. I hated to feed my baby, how messed up is thatI knew something must give. My pediatrician was the one that said “so, what’s the plan? how long are you going to go on like this?” I felt like a switch was flipped – someone was giving me the OK to say “I don’t have to kill myself to breastfeed”. So, I decided to exclusively pump. And the day that I made that decision, a huge weight was lifted. I felt giddy that I didn’t have to spend the extra 20-40 minutes breastfeeding, for her to still be hungry and require a bottle. HOWEVER – I cried about giving her formula. Oh, the evil formula. Do you know what my husband was given as formula? Condensed milk. Condensed milk! And I’m worried about giving my baby food that is specifically designed to replicate breastmilk? He’s perfectly fine! I was given formula. I’m perfectly fine! It’s really a shame that with the hype that has come with pushing the benefits of breastfeeding, there isn’t a movement to counsel women that have problems.

I’m not able to produce enough milk either, and I’ve tried everything – pumping every hour, Fenugreek, Domperidone (which helps move things along the digestive system if you’re taking iron after delivery, by the way) so I know how you feel. Boy, do I ever. I try to remember “enjoy her – she’s only going to be like this today, she’ll be different even tomorrow, she’s gaining weight and thriving. You’ve made the right decision”. Emory looks like he’s a very healthy, very happy baby. Ergo, you’re doing the right things!!!

And thank you so much for posting the picture of the modified sports bra. I mentioned it to my husband, because I’m getting tired of only being able to stare at the TV while I pump!

Chandra

All three of us (my brothers and I) were raised on formula. My little brother was raised on the powdered variety. I can’t speak for myself, but my brothers are both very bright and healthy individuals.

Truthfully, I am not sure what happened that made this breast-feeding movement so out of control. It’s a little strange. Women feel pressured to the point of nearly hating themselves if it doesn’t work out for them. I know people firsthand who felt really badly when things didn’t work out.

Wouldn’t it be ironic if there were side effects to our taking supplements such as fenugreek? We’re doing all we can to keep up with this breast feeding thing, we’re ingesting herbs unregulated by the FDA. I take it too. And I’m sure it’s fine, but one never knows, you know?

Jonah is partly weaned now, as I am back to work full-time (he is 14 months), so he only breastfeeds 3 times per day. I enjoy the freedom of it on the weekends, but I miss it too. I guess if I had never bf him, I would not have felt like I was missing anything. I spent his first year of life never being separated from him for more than about an hour, as he bf so frequently.

I don’t know where I am going with this, just wanted to say it!

‘Science’ flip-flops about which option is ‘better’—as does popular culture.
9/10 moms I’ve known haven’t put half as much thought and research into what they should do—they just read Readers Digect or watch The View, and let others make their decisions for them.

Emory is lucky to have a mom who went above and beyond the call of duty, trying to figure out what is best for her child. Twenty years from now, you’ll never be in the situation with the thought/regret of “well, if i only….”. You’ve clearly done your homework, explored every option, and used you & toby’s smarts to the fullest extent. You’ve made the the best decision possible for your child, and are 10 times more informed about it than anyone else. If someone wants to comment on your decisions, you have every right to tell them to shove it.

I haven’t seen this ad but I find it really weird that the government is willing to dump a million dollars into an ad created solely to scare women (instead of creating something positive) and they won’t put calorie content on fast food menus, for example. However, apparently serving a baby formula is like riding an electronic bull while pregnant?

Shame on them for this.

If I were a mom, I have a feeling I probably would do some damage to my kid. Just in the number of times I’d be telling other people to go fuck themselves within his earshot.