February 22nd, 2006
Many, many moons ago, while living and working in D.C., I created a graphic featuring a close-up of my face on a pair of pink undergarments. I wish I could remember why I created this particular graphic, but I don’t. (If anyone else does, please do tell.) I created posters pretty regularly back then. One might say I had a lot of time on my hands. I worked at a place and was rarely busy. So I came up with posters. Usually they were directly related to something commentors and myself were discussing that day. I created them with one purpose: To make people laugh. I had so much fun creating these on a whim, so much fun.
Some folks may have seen these before while others may not have. Either way, I’m going to share them (again).
There was the time a bunch of regulars admitted to liking scones more than muffins. I am a muffin lover. This poser was created. As well as this one. I’m still not a fan of scones.
There was the time Nico said something about how a friend of her and George’s said that Asian girls have softer pubic hair. I created this poster. Speaking of Nico, I found this one but I have no idea why it was created.
There was the time Andrea said she had some margaritas over lunch. And she was acting kind of loopy which was out of character and it made me smile. I created this poster for her.
One time, a friend of ours named Mike Essl said something about peeing on someone. He really likes Mr. T. I know nothing more about this one’s history. Similarly, I have no idea what the hell this was made in response to. I created this one for Amanda B. Again, I don’t remember why. But I love the fact that I ripped off my own joke. (haha)
There was the time someone wrote about making coffee at work only to find that by the time she returned for a cup all of her coworkers had drank it. I told her to replace the creamer with a laxative. And I created this poster for her. It’s probably my second most favorite. Speaking of office fluids, one time Missy was complaining about the taste of the water at work and I created this one for her.
I don’t remember why I created this one but it’s my favorite. (I love that one.)
And there were little things, too, like this and this and this. I have no idea why I combined Rita Perlman with Ron Jeremy, but here is that monster.
So, yesterday, for shits and giggles, I went over to Flickr and uploaded the old graphic featuring my face on a pair of pink underpants. Here is the graphic:
They came with a bra, too:
and a shirt: 
Well, much to my pleasant surprise, shi10 has taken my face panties and animated them for me.
I miss those days, actually, in terms of my online history. And I love it when things come back around. Thanks, shi10. Thanks, Flickr.
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February 21st, 2006
I started wearing underpants. That’s right. Tobyjoe and I visited Vickie’s Secret this weekend and I spent 150 bucks on underpants. I’ll see if I can stick with it.
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February 21st, 2006
I have been wanting to bring this up for so long and then I just never get around to it. Today, I’m going to finally do it. Why can’t I get my egg salad to taste like it does when I get it from the delis around town? What am I doing wrong? Is there a magic ingredient am I unaware of? Am I not cooking my eggs long enough? Do I add too much mayo? Not enough? My egg salad never quite tastes right. It’s bothersome. I want to learn how to do this right.
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February 20th, 2006
This morning, I left the house early in hopes of having the car inspected at Lorenzutti Motors in downtown Brooklyn. I figured I have a better chance with them, as they’re the folks who have taken care of the car for years now. The more and more Tobyjoe and I thought about our meeting with Two Guys on McGuinness Boulevard, the more and more we felt we didn’t receive an honest assessment. I want a second opinion, to put it simply. I refuse to believe that this car is unacceptable especially considering the number of total rust machines driving along the streets of New York City.
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February 19th, 2006
We’re doing stuff around the house. It’s Sunday. I don’t have to work tomorrow. I am very, very happy. Click any of the images below to see some pictures.
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February 18th, 2006
I received a ticket for an expired inspection on my 30-year-old car. Only, no one actually wrote out a ticket. Instead, I was paying another ticket online and discovered it. Great.
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February 17th, 2006
Tobyjoe has asked a lot of great questions over on Spread and I want to get some feedback. If you have any, please, kindly leave them there. (Or send us an email.)
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February 17th, 2006
I stood in the closet next to Soung. We looked around at her clothing. They hung from hangers, sighing. The great contrast between aged skin and aged clothing became painfully clear: One becomes wrinkled over time, and the other becomes smoother. There were shoes tucked away and a few hair ties draped around the door handle. She once walked through there, figuring out what to wear before heading out for the night. The carpeting below our feet held indentations of previous footprints. I wondered if any of them were still hers. I thought about cutting out a square of it and taking it with me as one might a fossil.
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February 16th, 2006
Last night over dinner, Toby Joe asked me what character I thought he was most like from The Feast of Love. I thought about this for a second. My first answer didn’t seem right but it was the first one that came to mind. Diana’s character is rather cold. She feels love but doesn’t often admit it to herself. She’s a lawyer and on the few occasions she feels anything at all, she tries to figure out whom she’s going to sue. Diana is strong, too. But it’s almost like she finds feeling itself weak. Diana gave me the impression that should she admit to harboring such emotion, she’d unravel.
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February 15th, 2006
This is totally safe for work.. Check it out. 200 pieces of metal? That sounds like a pretty big deal to me.
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