I have a bridge for sale if anyone wants it.

posted by mihow on February 25th, 2005

The other day while I was on my way to work at the bar, the most peculiar thing happen. It seems that after 31 long years, my superpowers have finally begun to kick in. While Toby Joe and I were walking under the BQE, a bit of road-rage broke out above. We could hear the squealing of tires and the pursuit of revenge hung in the air like a thick oily cloud. Suddenly, a car came crashing to the ground. It landed on top of a mini-van, driven by an innocent family of four who had just left a Wednesday evening charity event. They were singing “Day-Dream Believer” while snacking on Little Debbie’s and Yoo-Hoo. The crashing car landed smack dab on top of the mini-van, thereby trapping all those within. I could hear them crying out through their muffled, chocolate-covered lips. Miraculously, the inhabitants had survived the impact. There was little time to think. I handed Toby Joe my bag. I was left with no choice.

After I saved the bottom car from the pending inferno, I quickly left the scene to find the car guilty of causing these nearly tragic events. I took care of that car with on swift punch to the back of the head.

It’s a good thing Toby Joe carries a camera everywhere, otherwise, folks may have never seen what I am actually capable of. My superpowers know no bounds^

Next week: mihow takes on a lifeless turd.

24 Responses to “I have a bridge for sale if anyone wants it.”

  1. mia Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 05:40 AM

    thank you for being so dern creative and hilarous. those photos are the cutest, funniest things i’ve seen in forever.

    go mihow! i’m envisioning wonderwoman twirling/transition scenes taking place.

  2. kristine Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 05:47 AM

    My HERO!!

  3. mihow Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 05:50 AM

    I knew this story would turn you on, Kristine.

  4. kristine Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 06:04 AM

    I got pee-pee tingles!

  5. Sherri Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 06:12 AM

    I will never piss you off!

  6. Sarah Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 06:37 AM

    Faster than a speeding car! More powerful than a locomotive! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Mihow! :-)

  7. ian Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 06:39 AM

    thank god you were there.

    out of curiousity, were they singing along to the monkee’s or anne murray?

  8. mihow Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 06:43 AM

    The Monkeys. Thanks for asking, Ian. (How many of you are singing that now? I certainly am. I need to hear it or it will sit there forever. Anyone have a version handy?)

  9. mihow Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 06:45 AM

    I just noticed something in that story that was a lie. I have the bag on my shoulder as I’m punching the car. So I guess I didn’t hand Toby the bag. I had to clear that up. Wouldn’t want to give anyone false information. Thanks.

  10. Amanda B. Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 07:06 AM

    Whoa! You DO have super powers. I knew it! Where’s the electric lasso? Hmmmm.

    Ian- I was terrified of Anne Murray as a child. I thought if I ever saw her she would probably try to eat me. Eeeeeeeep.

  11. Meshbetty Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 07:53 AM

    You are such a goof! Now I got that damn Monkees song in my head.

  12. claudia Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 08:09 AM

    cute hat…where’d ja get it?

  13. mihow Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 08:10 AM

    My lovely hubby got it for me. But I am not sure where because it was a present for Xmas. He has most excellent in taste.

  14. Ern Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 08:22 AM

    So when do you get your stretchy, shiny supersuit? Is it going to be purple? Or green?

    Do you have a supername? I’m just full of questions.

  15. mihow Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 08:24 AM

    I’m not sure. After that episode of the OC last night, we superheros are getting really bad reviews. The funding for my suit is just not there right now. :/

  16. Scotty Hotpants Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 08:40 AM

    Mihow you fucking stud, you! So do you have any other super powers other than incredible strength? Will you be featured in X-Men 3? I know Cyclops and the gang could use some help defeating the Sentinels.

  17. dave/Metro Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 09:01 AM

    I’m looking forward to your summertime superhero suit. The winterwear is a bit bulky for saving lives and dealing out justice, don’t you think?

  18. momhow Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 09:06 AM

    It’s all because of TMI !!

  19. mihow Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 09:57 AM

    I knew nuclear radiation would eventually come in handy!

  20. Lisa-Marie Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 11:14 AM

    That was wonderful! I’ll have Daydream Believer going through my head all day now! ;-)

  21. Meshbetty Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 03:54 PM

    Does this mean that I have super powers too? I was evacuated during that TMI incident too! :o)

  22. twisteduterus Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 05:01 PM

    cape..a cape.. you definitly need a cape..a really really cool one, maybe with rhinestones or glitter..yeah glitter-more aerodymanic-just incase.

    dag/tu

  23. MRs.Strizzay Says:
    February 26th, 2005 at 08:32 PM

    Kristine said she had pee pee tingles. I thought it said pringles. But either way she should go to the free clinic.

  24. Missy Says:
    February 27th, 2005 at 02:46 PM

    I can’t wait to see the pictures of you and the lifeless turd. Or maybe I can. Please do not post photos of turds. (“Turd” is a funny word. Turd turd turd.)

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