I hate big spoons and I cannot lie.

posted by mihow on February 22nd, 2005

Seriously. I absolutely do not see the need for mid-sized spoons that aren’t big enough to be deemed as “Serving Spoons” and at the same time are way too bulky and wide to be considered face-feeding spoons. Why bother? Aren’t the average sized feeding spoons good enough?

I told Toby Joe I plan on throwing these oversized spoons out today. I’m sick of their unnecessary girth. I don’t want the metal to touch both my inner cheeks at the same time while I’m desperately trying to kill my low blood-sugar induced shakes by shoveling as much yogurt into my fat face as quickly as possible.

I hate them. But he has requested I hide them instead. Where does one hide big spoons?

21 Responses to “I hate big spoons and I cannot lie.”

  1. BSmith Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 06:27 AM

    I totally know what you are talking about! Me and the missus registered for new silverware and the everyday spoons are literally the size of serving spoons…I have now taken to hoarding plastic spoons from takeout to eat with instead.

  2. tobyjoe Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 06:49 AM

    Make a tiny spoon to use to eat from the big spoon.

  3. mihow Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 06:51 AM

    Can you program that to happen? A spoon-robot, if you will? Start tonight right after you’re finished with SPD and the other work you have due.

  4. tina Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 07:26 AM

    I hate big spoons too. I suggest you hide them “in the garbage”.

  5. DonaldEugene Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 07:28 AM

    I thought I was the only one. Too ashamed to ask for a teaspoon to eat my soup with I often forego soup altogether when dining in restaurants. Adding to the shame my friend Carmen has said more than once “oh that’s right, you’ll need a l’il spoon for your purty l’il mouth.” It’s nice to know there are others out there.

  6. mihow Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 07:29 AM

    You’re a friggin genius, my dear sweet gal. He won’t think to look in the garbage. Hot damn.

  7. mihow Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 07:30 AM

    I feel a t-shirt coming on.

  8. nico Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 08:34 AM

    ditto. hate big spoons, i.e. table spoons or soup spoons. especially round soup spoons. like you said it is the touching the sides of the mouth/teeth thing. metal may never touch my teeth. I only use a (little) tea spoon.

    I’ve been told that the proper way to eat from those stupid round soup spoons is to sip from the side. I know that I have no proper table manners, so balls to that.

  9. mihow Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 08:43 AM

    So tell me, then. Why do these bitches even exist? Are there that many super-sized mouths out there that warrant such large spoons? I am actually wondering.

  10. AyEnDeeAreEeAyAitch Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 09:23 AM

    They are only good for getting out really hard ice cream from the container. Or measuring things since they are Tablespoons. You should give them away to someone.

  11. andrea Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 09:36 AM

    i feel the exact same way about ikea spoons. little tiny midget things for little tiny midget people.

  12. Bayat Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 10:28 AM

    Spoon sizes from Europe, the ruler on the left is 15cm, which is about 6 inches.

  13. mihow Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 10:33 AM

    I love the fact you (or whoever took this amazingly informative photograph) put a pack of smokes as the size reference just incase the ruler didn’t make sense.) This is BRILLIANT, Bayat. And I thank you. Don’t you agree the the middle spoon is just not necessary? Fork should stab it. Knife should cut it up.

  14. mihow Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 10:34 AM

    I used too many )s in the above comment. Sorry.

  15. Bayat Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 11:21 AM

    Well, I lived for 10 months only with the dirty, coffee-stained spoon in the middle (which is called dessert spoon here, teaspoon is the tiny one), so I have to agree with you :)

  16. GotJesus? Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 12:13 PM

    I have to confess that I really like the tablespoon and I’m sorry that we don’t have many. We have a MILLION teaspoons at home, but only one tablespoon (and some larger serving spoons).

    We used to use the tablespoon for heaping canned cat food into dishes for our obeseties, but since we started having kids we stopped feeding canned food to the cats.

    I still like having a huge honking spoon when I’m shoveling food into my head. I find the cold clack of the spoon on my teeth and inside my cheeks reassuring and satisfying. That’s just how I am, and my mama loves me anyway.

  17. Todd Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 12:29 PM

    Two words: Bullion Spoons.

    I swear by ‘em. These are the same size as regular (small) spoons, but have a round scoop instead of the usual egg shaped scoop. I don’t understand how anyone eats cerial or soup without one!

    Got your Oscars picked, Mihow?

  18. Sherri Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 03:24 PM

    Stick ‘em in a planter and arrange them like a plant.

  19. mihow Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 04:57 PM

    GotJeusus? Your new name is HaveSatan. Bad Mid-sized spoon. Bad. Sherri, I am SO going to do that. And I will so take pictures to prove it. Todd, are we invited this year? :]

  20. dave Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 07:10 PM

    Reminds me of a cartoon from the Sick and Twisted animation festival. The byline was that the animator went nuts, but they show a small bowl on screen, and then a giant spoon, that was too big to scoop from the bowl. “My spoon is too big!” No, really, it was funny. (Guess you had to be there.)

  21. mihow Says:
    February 22nd, 2005 at 08:17 PM

    Oh how I know that cartoon. We watched that one night with a bunch of friends on a wee small monitor and laughed sooo very hard. :] Good times. Those cartoons are quite funny.

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