November 21st, 2005
Most everyone hates sitting on urine. And if you’re a woman who pees outside of the house more than once a year you’re bound to have noticed the ever so prevalent splatter that covers toilet seats across the United States of America. It’s one of the small things about the breaking down of the Social Contract that infuriates me. But I’m willing to let that one go in order to work on more important ones such as insisting drivers let people merge or asking that people not speak during live music shows.
I hover. Sometimes, it’s just downright hard to do if it’s not totally annoying. Especially while wearing winter clothing and there is no hook. And sometimes, it’s annoying because you just don’t want to have to hover.
I wish the first person to enter a public restroom and discover that the seat is not actually covered in another person’s urine would just sit their ass down and pee. I’m not sure what the rest of America’s women do with their asses, but I’d much rather sit on something touched by my ass than sit on something touched by my urine. New Yorkers are the most hypocritical of all. If one is willing to ride the MTA, they damn well should be willing to let their cheeks touch the bowl from time to time.
But I digress. I noticed something about those puffy, soft, vinyl seat covers. I noticed they are less likely to be covered in urine. I rarely discover them in quite the same piss-covered state as their porcelain cousins. And this weekend, I wondered why that might be. Are people more comfortable with sitting on a puffy vinyl seat cover? Do they make for better deterrents? Or am I just not seeing the splatter?
17 Comments »
November 18th, 2005
Although I only heard snippets of yesterday’s Murtha speech the parts I did hear were unbelievably moving. Who could doubt a man with such a military track record?
Continue Reading…
14 Comments »
November 17th, 2005
It seems like lifetimes ago that Toby Joe and I were living in D.C. It seems like a lifetime ago we then picked up everything and moved to San Francisco. And it seems like not so long ago we were packing everything back up and moving back to New York City. And it seems that as I remember it all, I’m making it all up.
Continue Reading…
2 Comments »
November 16th, 2005
Yesterday, I went to my first office happy hour. I’m pretty sure the Devil came up with this concept of the “Happy Hour”. I feel a bit fishy today. But that’s not why I’m writing. I’m writing to say that last night after we got home, I decided to leave notes on several of the cars on our street. This was particularly horrifying for Toby Joe who stood there watching me in a frozen terror.
Continue Reading…
12 Comments »
November 15th, 2005
I Don’t Belong Here.
About a year ago, I was a member of an online message board. Normally, I don’t do the whole Internet discussion thing. But this time I knew most of the folks involved personally so I figured it’d be O.K. Usually, I try and stick to only posting here. I will do so at a few other Web sites where I feel I can get away with potentially idiotic ideas, bad grammar, and implement a total stream of consciousness (which usually leads to bad grammar and potentially idiotic ideas).
Continue Reading…
30 Comments »
November 14th, 2005
I received a text message from a girlfriend on Saturday night. It read:
What time is babes open til?
Continue Reading…
5 Comments »
November 12th, 2005
Toby Joe and I took Friday off and headed up to Beacon, New York to check out the town. (We’ve been toying with moving upstate so we can make hundreds of babies and adopt thousands of cats and drink honey and eat tea and grow stuff.) Beacon is about an hour north on Metro North. If we moved to Beacon, we could still work in the city. We’ll see. (Dare to dream?) Either way, the town is lovely. I was immediately swooned.
Continue Reading…
9 Comments »
November 10th, 2005
Today, i have decided to get soup from The Soup Nazi. He recently opened a store on the corner right below my office. (Yes, the guy who inspired that Seinfeld episode.)
Continue Reading…
19 Comments »
November 10th, 2005
For Christmas this year, my family is going to have an early dinner at the Rock Center Café at Rockefeller Center. We’ve done this for two years now. IT’s quite lovely especially if it snows.
Continue Reading…
15 Comments »
Recent Comments