Who Would Win in a Fight?

posted by mihow on October 11th, 2005

Last night, while riding the MTA home, I was pondering some of the most brilliant questions I have ever had.

Who do you think would win in a fight?

VerizonMan?

Or SprintMan?

My money is on SprintMan. The trenchcoat is a much tougher jacket choice than the mechanic’s jacket. And monkeys are cool and all with the poo-flinging, but weiner dogs? Weiner dogs are awesome. I have a feeling SprintMan could sway Mrs. Zeta Jones into joining him in that trenchcoat. Sidekick, indeed. However, if Vader shows up, we’re all screwed.

If SprintMan could use Cingular man as a weapon, his chances are even better. He’s kinda shaped like a throwing star drawn with pasta noodle.

I’m betting on SprintMan. Final answer.

15 Responses to “Who Would Win in a Fight?”

  1. Doug Says:
    October 11th, 2005 at 04:57 AM

    Ah, but Sprint Man looks like a gentleman. He wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses, would he?

  2. Missy Says:
    October 11th, 2005 at 05:13 AM

    My money’s on Catherine Zeta-Jones. I’m certain she could at least kick Verizon guy’s ass six ways to Sunday. I could kick his ass. (He is kinda cute, though.)

  3. zac Says:
    October 11th, 2005 at 05:29 AM

    I agree, Sprint man would be a lock. Besides that he is friendlier. He actually talks to folks and helps them with their wireless needs, while verizon man is an autistic mess who has always reminded me of Rain man. (“Can you hear me now? Can you year me now? Wopner’s on at three. Definitely three.”)

  4. DonaldEugene Says:
    October 11th, 2005 at 05:37 AM

    I’d like to kick Verizon Man’s as on account of that awful logo I have to see about a hundred and fifty times a day.

  5. mihow Says:
    October 11th, 2005 at 05:45 AM

    Zac, hilarious. And amen, Donald. We can see the one on the side of Verizon building in lower Manhattan from our dining room window. We live in Brooklyn. That’s one hell of a powerful logo, not entirely unlike the Batman symbol come to think of it. hmmmmm

  6. Closet Metro Says:
    October 11th, 2005 at 06:38 AM

    Verizon man. He’s pissed, and a lot scrappier than that prissy Sprint man. Just tell V-man “No, I can’t hear you now.” and he’ll snap.

  7. Silly Nessa Says:
    October 11th, 2005 at 06:46 AM

    sprint man – without a doubt – verizon man is a big fat liar and would just whine his way through the ring…can you hear me now, MY ASS!

  8. networkchic Says:
    October 11th, 2005 at 07:28 AM

    It’s gotta be Sprintman. Everyone knows a guy in glasses can’t hit.

  9. Amanda B. Says:
    October 11th, 2005 at 07:40 AM

    I have to go with Verizon man, because I find him strangely erotic.

  10. sharbean Says:
    October 11th, 2005 at 08:28 AM

    I have to go with Verizon man because I think Sprint man would trip over his jacket during the scrap. Though, I’d have to see what type of shoes the two were wearing. The person with docs would have my vote.

  11. Charlie Says:
    October 11th, 2005 at 09:12 AM

    chirp What about the gay guys dancing to Salt-n-Pepa? chirp

  12. mihow Says:
    October 11th, 2005 at 09:17 AM

    ::chirp:: their enemies always hear them coming ::chirp:: yellow is the new band of moron ::chirp::

  13. Sherri Says:
    October 11th, 2005 at 01:36 PM

    Verizon man would win. He would obviously “can you hear me now” to death the Sprint man.

  14. Jonathan Says:
    October 11th, 2005 at 07:09 PM

    If they ever fight, i’m waiting until one knocks the other out and then jumping in to finish them both off. I get almost no service on my sprint phone, and verizon kept doing sketchy stuff on my billing. I hope they all die horrible deaths.

  15. EricaLucci Says:
    October 12th, 2005 at 03:27 PM

    But VerizonMan has the punk rock glasses. You just know he came from a tough crowd. SprintMan is just way too corporate.

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