August 23rd, 2005
I never wanted kids. It’s true. Kids kind of freak me out. They always have. That amplified the moment I saw the son of a friend of mine with his hand down the back of his pants who for the life of him could not stop smelling it. Kids are a little strange. They do things that don’t make sense, as well as things that make so much sense things become strange. You’re simply not supposed to smell your own ass, are you?
All of that changed when I met Toby. Now, I want nothing more than to give birth to something that will one day smell its own ass. Even if it means destroying my most amazing female figure^, giving up caffeine, wine, fatty foods, and life. I want one. I do.
That’s not to say right now but someday.
As I mentioned yesterday, I am concerned about what I have put my body through over the years. While I am not a recovering heroin addict, nor have I ever done anything particularly damaging, I have gone though and inhaled more cans of spray mount than I care to admit. I have drunk booze regularly since I was 23. I didn’t always eat well. And I’m 31.
The most bizarre things sets me off, too. The other day, while waiting for the movie to begin, I was reading those horrible slide advertisements they project before the movie. One of them was for NYU Medical School. They are willing to pay 8,000 dollars (pennies if you ask me) to any woman, age 21 – 32, in return for her eggs. 32. Why will I lose this option in a year? What’s wrong a 32 year old egg?
I made an appointment with a gynecologist/baby doctor to find out if I should start considering adoption or if I have a chance on one day maybe having a healthy baby who might one day smell its own ass.
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August 23rd, 2005
Sometimes I wonder why the MTA doesn’t just start posting when the train is actually running instead of when it is not. I can pretty much guarantee that I won’t ever read all of this. But you better believe I’ll bitch and moan when I try and take it into the city and it’s not running.
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August 23rd, 2005
This morning started off with a bang. I left the house a little late and halfway up Graham avenue, I began to have blinding cramps, cramps that I haven’t experienced since I was a teenager. And if that pain wasn’t enough. I broke out into a cold sweat and my vision began to tunnel; I was passing out.
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August 22nd, 2005
Today was one hell of a day. I can’t deny. And it’s also one of those days where I regretted writing on here at all. I have nothing against golf. I am not sure where that came from. I just ranted for no apparent reason and I have always tried NOT to do that. I am sorry if golfers have been offended.
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August 22nd, 2005
What’s the deal with golf, schmoozing and corporate America? Doesn’t it ever bug you that this particular stereotype is so prevalent? It makes me unjustifiably dislike golf and I realize that’s just silly. How come it’s golf and not tennis or croquette or darts or billiards? Why golf? Who set the corporate schmooz standard and why?
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August 22nd, 2005
One week from today I will be on a beach in Rhode Island. This vacation could not come at a better time. I am having one hell of a painful Monday morning.
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August 22nd, 2005
This weekend Toby and I finally saw the critically acclaimed film 9 Songs. It’s a film about a love affair between a 30+ year old man and a 21 year old woman. It’s sexually explicit and, at times, hard to watch. But not for the reasons one might assume.
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August 21st, 2005
It’s 8:58. And I feel a little silly saying so, but I think that this final episode of Six Feet Under might just make me cry (again).
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August 19th, 2005
Today, I was in the elevator waiting for my stop. I was with a man who was probably about 45 and a woman, age 35. She stood behind me holding a bag in front of her. She was a slender woman, attractive, too.
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August 19th, 2005
I understand that a family would be devastated after watching their daughter get mauled by a tiger. But will someone please explain to me why the tiger then deserves to be killed? IT’S A TIGER. And somehow I still muster surprise…
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